And by "boys" I mean all the males, aged 6 - 42, that live in Casa Martin.
If You Dribble When You Piddle
I can remember growing up with only two brothers, and one of my sisters making a sign to hang in the bathroom that said "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, Please be neat and wipe the seat" which I thought was weird because there should never be pee on the toilet seat. I mean, girls sit and boys stand but they lift the seat, right? Well I can tell you, having potty-trained six little buggers, that they do not necessarily lift the seat because they are lazy and then the girls have to deal with the consequences. Is there anything worse than sitting down on a wet seat? Ick! I can remember seeing Maggie wipe down the seat before sitting back when she was just a young sprite and thinking "Tell me you have brothers without telling me you have brothers." Also, boys' aim is not as great as they think it is, and they always think it is great.
King of the TV
If there's a sports game on, don't even think about watching anything else on the tv. They also love wielding their power by holding the remote. I don't understand it but I can't deny it.
Full Belly, Full Heart
You've all heard the saying that the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach? Truer words have never been spoken. You should see the way their eyes light up when I come home with groceries. A full fridge and pantry equals a full heart for my guys. And when supplies are running low, and there's "nothing to eat!" you can actually see their heartbreak. Does mom just not love us anymore? A homecooked meal at the end of the day or an offered snack while studying or a packed lunch for them to grab makes them feel so loved. Whenever I'm grocery shopping, I try to pick out some of their favorite things and they truly appreciate it.
Ya Filthy Animals
There's no sugarcoating this one, boys stink. They are so active and bathing is mostly just a waste of their time. I never thought I would have to remind someone to take shower or put on deodorant or change their clothes or brush their teeth as much as I have to. Thankfully, this changes once they notice other girls. Not their mom or sister mind you, only potential girlfriends. They keep their rooms a mess, can't find anything and hate doing chores with a passion. Also I have said the phrase "No feet where we eat" and "Put on some clothes!" and "There's no maid that lives here" more times than I can count.
I was watching a tv show about a group of guys and girls and it started snowing out and all of the guys ran outside to go sledding and the girls watched them from the window, tumbling and laughing and acting dangerous. One of the girls sighed and said "Wouldn't it be so nice to be that simple-minded?" Wouldn't it? They just seem so much less complicated and can live in the moment so much better. I remember once going through a particularly stressful time and telling Phil about all of my worries and he said "Just don't worry about it!" I was like "Oh, wow, wish I had thought of that!" How do they have that ability to just not worry about so much? Perhaps it's because they have a lady in their life that they know is handling that role.
Use Your Listening Ears
Something that is such a pet peeve of mine with males (in general) is that they don't listen as well as females. They forget things I've told them or only do something if I remind them often enough. I hate having to nag like that, but I feel like it's the only time they will do it. Maggie will so easily see my stress level at having company come over and pitch in to help, but I have to reach a breaking point to get the boys to help out.
My husband likes to tell me of some fun fact he "heard somewhere" and I stare in disbelief as HE'S REPEATING BACK TO ME THE SAME THING I TOLD HIM EARLIER.
It's me, hi, I'm the person, it’s me.
The noise - the younger boys are like a herd of elephants rumbling through the house. (Though I will grant teenage girls shriek the most!). And they cannot stop touching each other. They are so physical while just hanging out - I swear I say, "Keep your hands to yourself!" more now than when they were little. In their defense, my sons like to keep their rooms mostly neat (or only a little disheveled). I have 2 girls who have no concept of putting things away.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the protective nature of boys - they help me so much looking after their younger sister when we're out or in the yard. I don't even need to ask - they're on duty automatically.
This is brilliant and very relatable. It made me laugh so much. NO FEET WHERE WE EAT - why have I not thought of that handy rhyme? Our 4 boys are just so physical - they made so many holes in the interior doors it was silly. They would hold a broom and pound the door with a stick until a kid opened the door - which often only happened after they drove the broom handle THROUGH the door. Holes in walls. Ed once knocked Lad's teeth out with a winter shovel because he was trying to spin and make it look like it was snowing. Mini is messier than most of them put together though. I do think that boys are easier, but my girls have been pretty straightforward, thankfully.
ReplyDeleteI love this post so much! As a mother of five boys. I’ve often told my husband that men are such simple creatures, but I don’t mean that in a derogatory way at all. Your memes are hilarious, and so true and spot-on. But that last paragraph says it all. It sounds like one I could have written myself, except for the part about having a daughter.
ReplyDeleteTruly, thanks for this post extolling the joys of being a boymom. I can’t tell you how many times other mothers felt sorry for me and made comments, not realizing how absolutely great I had it!
Oh, and the “ use your listening ears” part, I read that out loud to my husband, and we both had a good laugh. He has often told me something funny or interesting he “heard somewhere,” not remembering, he heard it from me!
ReplyDeleteThis post was hilarious! So many things that truly seem to be in The Realm of Men! I recognize some of these points in my own husband -- although his bathroom habits are immaculate. I really lucked out in that regard!
ReplyDeleteThis bit is SO RELATABLE: "My husband likes to tell me of some fun fact he "heard somewhere" and I stare in disbelief as HE'S REPEATING BACK TO ME THE SAME THING I TOLD HIM EARLIER. It's me, hi, I'm the one who told you that." My husband does the same thing and it drives me to distraction!
I do wish that I had his ability to be in the moment and not overanalyze every little thing. He is truly in the "Just don't worry about it!" camp, because that's something he is capable of. What an amazing, freeing way to live that must be!
This is so funny to read! I grew up with 3 brothers and now have 1 small son and 3 daughters. Our house is so loud with the shrill shrieking of girls, yet our one boy can be louder than all of them. Also the drama. There was so little of that in my childhood but now so many feelings with my girls! I'm glad to have the steadying influence of my little guy and my husband. Also the food meme is so spot on. The "eyes lighting up for groceries" made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteA question, have you ever written about how you and your husband find time for eachother with a full house? I recall you take walks alone but do you have any other ideas for that? We go to bed early and so do our kids. Short of really messing with bedtimes im not sure where we can squeeze in quiet alone time.
The listening ears! Oh man. I laughed out loud. So so so true. And I just have two boys aged 39 and 11 in my house!
ReplyDeleteThis was such a fun read. My first thought about having that many boys was The Bathroom Will Never Be Clean. 😜
ReplyDeleteYou are correct though, they are Very Simple and that makes them very lovable.
My husband constantly shows me videos (fun stuff, mostly dogs) that I send to him, thinking he's showing me something new. *sigh*