Hi! It's been a while since my last weekly update, so buckle up buttercups!
The Franciscan Men's Soccer team made it to the semifinals and played a game in New Jersey on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Andrew (a team manager) and some of his New England buddies who play on the team decided it would be stupid to travel all the way back to Ohio on the bus, just to turn around and come all the way back home on Tuesday for Thanksgiving break. So they all talked to their parents, who agreed on the stupidity front, and bought plane tickets for a 30 minute flight to Boston on Saturday night. I was so happy that I had spent the day cleaning the big boy's room, and moving the littles out and back to their room. Just in time for Andrew to come home for a whole week!
Eleven Players Playing
Two Lads a' Lunching
After JP's last class on Tuesday, Eamon and cousin Tommy drove to Pittsburgh to pick him up and then they all drove home and arrived safely around 1:00 am. While anticipating their arrival, Phil and I took the youngest three kids to see Wicked for Good after school/work and we all enjoyed it, not as much as the first one, but worth seeing. And then finally all of our chickadees were home from college and isn't that one of the best feelings as a mom? Yes, yes, it is. That first homemade dinner after a semester of college food just hits different:
18 years ago, this little bundle of pink came into the world faster than her mom ever thought possible. After the quickest 2 hour labor, a movie-worthy car ride to the hospital, and a frantic emergency call to the midwife to come catch, Maggie Rosemary Martin was (illegally) born underwater in the hospital jacuzzi.
She was supposed to be named Margaret (my middle name and my mom and grandma's name) Rose (after our White Rose love story) but when she was born, I had a strong intuition that she would be our only girl and wanted to add Mary for Our Lady to the mix, hence Margaret Rosemary. I'm so glad God gave me that nudge!
Happy Friday before Black Friday! This weekend we will be happily preparing to welcome back home some college boys, which will require a room clean/switch up since the little boys have taken over the big boys room while they have been away. I can't blame them because it is a much nicer room, but I do find it funny that instead of splitting up into into two bedrooms, they all wanted to move together to the big bedroom.
While we were frolicking in Quebec last weekend, Eamon went with a group of friends to try and get on the Pat McAfee show before the Pitt v. Notre Dame game.
The kid kicking missed his chance to win $100,000 but somehow (?) Eamon's group got the check and went all over taking photos with it (?)
They were only planning to go to the show and try to get on tv, but one of his friend's dad bought everyone a ticket to the game...how nice! Go Notre Dame!
Phil and I were able to take a long weekend away to celebrate our 23rd anniversary (which happened back in May but we took a raincheck to wait until life + the shop + the kids schedules were less busy). So don't say Happy Anniversary in the comments if you already said that back in May or you would look silly. Just kidding, there's no rules!
We left work early on Friday and drove 3.5 hours up to Hallowell, Maine to The Maple Farm Inn where I was a little bit convinced that we would be murdered and nobody would find the bodies. But we are happy to report that we are indeed alive, and the stay was pretty nice with a delicious breakfast. The innkeepers are charming, the room was clean and comfortable (minus the ladybugs??) and the jacuzzi was huge, but the whole inn and their website needs a renovation.
Free Thanksgiving Dinners
We watched the new Fantastic Four movie while Phil killed the bugs on the walls for me.
On Saturday morning, we went for a walk until my thoughts of bears coming out of the forest to eat us got the better of me (hey, we are in the woods of Maine!) and we headed back for breakfast and to pack up for our next destination.
Maine blueberry pancakes - mmmmmmm.
"Isn't this a lovely drive by the water?" we thought premonitionally.
We had Tuesday off for Veteran's Day (we love our Grandpa and Gramps veterans) and I took Monday off because Xander and Brendan had physicals and then Declan and Brendan had a SAL day (stay at home school day). Going back to work knowing it was already Wednesday, well that's what working-mom-dreams are made of.
Homeschoolers R Us (when the school makes us)
The boys physicals were great except they both need to see a dermatologist. Xander for an unusual mole and Brendan for the years-long rash he has on his feet and hands that we have been to the derm for many times, but this time we are seeing a pediatric derm per the advice of my sister, so I hope we can finally figure it out. On Tuesday, I went to the dentist with Xander and Declan and they both had good reports but I have another cavity in the same tooth where I already have had three fillings previously. I asked if we should just pull the tooth at this point but the dentist wants to keep patching it up for as long as possible. I hope that's in my best interest and not a money grab.
Thank You Veterans!
While we were at the dentist, Phil and Brendan watched the Veteran's Day parade with Grandpa and Phil did some research to figure out the best plan of attack for my parents to get free meals that day. I think Grandpa ended up getting a free lunch at one restaurant, a voucher for a free meal at another restaurant, and a half priced dinner takeout from a third restaurant. Not too shabby!
Lucy Doodle got her hairs cut and a festive paper hat made by Brendan.
The things I put up with.
On Wednesday, a new restaurant opened in the city next to us, so Phil and I checked it out while Brendan had swim team practice right nearby.
The Mexican food was really good, seemed authentic (I went to Mexico once in 5th grade so what do I know) and we will be returning! Our waiter was a former student of Phil's (they're everywhere after having taught for 22 years) and we had to laugh because we got the smallest table in the worst spot in the place (always happens to us).
Happy Friday from a week that felt very long and tiring, could it be the time change? Or the full moon? Or the windy nights that kept me awake? How are you all handling it?
Last weekend, the college boys had their fall break and ended up in Michigan split up between friend houses and had so.much.fun. I am so grateful to these families who just welcome in a bunch of their son's college friends for four days. They sent me these photos:
Andrew said they went to the arcade, which I thought was an arcade, but was actually a casino.
JP was also in Michigan for the weekend, visiting his newlywed friends (he was in their wedding party back in August):
The other day I was scrolling on Instagram, and saw this video by someone whom I do not follow, show up in my feed:
It stopped me in my tracks.
It’s so true that we decide to have children if/when we’re young and able, but then we have to trust, hope, and work hard to provide for them in the future. It takes a leap of faith to welcome more children than you think you can afford in the present moment.
Peter Kreeft once spoke at my church and said that discerning family size is like tithing. We should give a little more than we think we can afford. We should give uncomfortably for it to be a true offering from the heart, trusting that God will bless that sacrifice.
It’s right there in Scripture:
Mark 12:41–44
He sat down opposite the treasury and observed how the crowd put money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. A poor widow also came and put in two small coins worth a few cents. Calling his disciples to himself, he said to them, “Amen, I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the other contributors to the treasury. For they have all contributed from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has contributed all she had, her whole livelihood.”
Returning to the woman’s point in the video that inspired these thoughts, I felt so sad for her regret, and I know she’s not alone. The window for having children is relatively short compared to the many years spent raising a family. We make those big decisions within a small slice of life, and then we live with the results for the rest of our lives.
I will always remember hearing an interview with Barbara Walters, a woman of incredible professional success, who admitted to one lasting regret: not having more children.
Last month, one of my coworker’s grandfathers passed away. He was the father of eleven children, with over thirty grandchildren and even a few great-grandchildren. Everyone who mentioned his obituary to me spoke about how blessed he was, how wonderful his family sounded, and how respected he was.
It made me think about how, when a family is in the trenches of raising a large brood, they often face judgment and bewilderment. People ask things like:
“Why are they having so many kids?”
“How can they afford them?”
“Don’t they know what causes that?”
Yet years later, when the children are grown, those same families are admired. The comments change to:
“What a beautiful legacy he left behind.”
“What a big family full of love and joy.”
"How truly rich they are."
But to reach that place, to have raised a large, loving family, someone first has to walk through the years of daily struggle, sacrifice, and trust. That grandfather’s story reminded me how important it is to discern family size carefully and faithfully, and to do so when we are still young enough to shape our future family tree.
It is a leap of faith to welcome another baby or adopt another child when our means feel uncertain. But are we foolish to hope it will all work out, or are we faithful to trust that God will provide? The line can certainly feel thin between the two.
We work hard today so we can retire later.
We train our bodies now so we can run the race later.
We follow God’s commandments so we can enjoy eternal life later.
We constantly sacrifice and toil for future rewards, so why is it harder to see that truth when it comes to having children?
Yes, it’s difficult.
Yes, it’s tiring.
Yes, it’s expensive and requires constant self-giving.
But the payoff is immeasurable. As Harvard’s 85-year study concluded, it’s relationships, not income, status, or possessions, that make people happy.
We only have a small window to decide whether to have children, and sometimes when we change our minds, it’s too late. As the woman in the video said, she regrets not having more, but she's never heard of a large family who regretted welcoming another child.
Not everyone is called to have a big family, and not everyone is blessed with that choice. But if you find yourself on the fence, I encourage you to take that uncertain leap of faith. As someone on the other side of those choices, I can confirm that one more scary, hopeful, and faithful decision can potentially lead to a lifetime filled with love, joy, and the beautiful legacy of family.
The kids elementary school had them dress as saints today for "Holyween", as All Saints Day is on a Saturday this year. They will have a school Mass and a very popular Trunk or Treat in the parking lot. Brendan went as St. Carlo Acutis, a cool new saint and an easy one to dress up as #jeansandaredpolo. It was a popular choice in 4th grade this year:
Last Friday it was sunny and warm, so I walked the kids across the street to let them feed the ducks, and sent the photo to our family's group chat which made the college kids miss the ocean. And that's why we live in New England!
Phil had to snap the picture of us going for our daily dog walk when we realized we were both wearing the same race shirt and weighted vest. So cute. So embarrassing.
Last Friday evening, I brought a meal to my friend who just had a baby and I got to hold him and it was EVERYTHING. That little baby was so warm and cuddly, and though I was afraid I may have forgotten how to hold a baby, it came back in an instant! I did have lots of baby-holding practice between the years of 2003 and 2017, but it feels so far away now. My friend is a full-time ER doctor and now the mother of nine and is just amazing. I think moms of big families can easily get classified as women who aren't smart enough to figure out how not to get pregnant, so I just love when that stereotype is so obviously broken. We just love babies and big families, m'kay?
While the Martin girls were attempting to steal the baby somehow, the Martin boys were at the school's Halloween Dance. This year we had a Mad Scientist and a Commanders player:
Mad or Evil?
On Saturday, we took Brendan to his swim meet in Rhode Island, where we hung out for 4 hours for him to swim about 4 minutes:
The most unflattering of all sport uniforms
When we got back home, I overheard Declan asking him if he did anything fun with Mom and Dad, and Brendan reported that he got to eat at McDonald's and we went on a walk in between races:
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