Five Favorites

Wow, it's been so long since I've participated in Five Favorites that the host has changed!  Hi Heather!  And away we gooooooo....

1)

Sarah and her cute crew.

Sarah is coming to visit!!  We have been blog friends for 6 years now, since finding one another's blogs back in their early days.  I prayed for years for her secondary infertility and was thrilled to watch her finally get pregnant with her third child, and then have her fourth right after that.  God is good!  I can't believe we are finally going to meet face to face, and she can see all the craziness in the Martin house.  I'm already planning the weekend, and it should include lots of sightseeing and running together.   Which leads me to....

2)

Katie and I

The Run for the Little Flowers 5k.  I have run this virtual race (that means anyone can run it anywhere) for the last two years to help out the Little Flowers orphanage in China.  This year, the proceeds from the race are going to be split between the orphanage AND helping Katie's family cover her adoption expenses as they bring home their baby girl from China!  I'm so happy for them, especially since her name is Felicity Grace, and that was the exact name we had picked out if Declan had been a she instead of a he, which brings me to...

3)

Declan.  Oh my gosh, can a mother have a favorite child?  No?  How about just a favorite child du jour?  Oui?  Declan is certainly on a streak then because I mean, just look at him:

He's so sweet and easy and funny, just like...

4) 

His big brother (the funny part, not the easy part).  This is a glimpse of what life is like with Alexander.  Here they are at Phil's summer camp dancing to the Chicken Dance, in a circle.  Well, everyone is supposed to be in a circle, not in the middle of the circle, and you can just guess where Xander ended up:

He can't even help himself, he's just feeling the beat!  The boy loves music, kinda like....

5)

Peg + Cat, as in the PBS kid's show.  When I first started watching it (with the kids, it's not like I stay up late watching PBS kids shows...often) I found it very annoying.  But it has totally grown on me.  Peg (a derivitive of the name Margaret, how?what?why?) always has a REALLY BIG PROBLEM on her hands, but is able to solve it through staying calm, using math, and relying on her funny friend Cat.  The background of this show is grid paper.  My accountants heart just expands to the nth degree when I see that.

Just look at those infinity clouds.  So clever.

So How Are We Going to Afford to Send All These Kids to College?

One of the very first questions people ask me upon finding out about our family size is "But how are you going to afford college?"  Well, first of all, that's a wee bit rude.  Secondly, my oldest is only 11.  Third, we don't believe in only having babies if you can afford to send them to college.  And fourth, which is the answer I give them, is "I don't know".  

The I don't know is very scary when I dwell on it.  I mean, most of our parenthood has been based on faith and trust that we are doing the best we can, and God will fill in the gaps.  So most days I try not  to think of the impending overpriced college tuition (times six!) and I just pray that my kids will find a way to make it work, if that's what they want.  

It does make me feel better to think that my parents had six kids and four of us went to college through work study, scholarships, financial aid, and student loans.  The last two were my oldest brother, who joined the Army in order to get free college education, and my oldest sister, who got her four years at Providence College free because she is a smarty pants.  Somehow we all survived, got the educations we needed to get the jobs we wanted and have been able to pay those debts off.

But do you know how much four years of tuition at Franciscan University of Steubenville cost when I applied in 1997?  $44,000.  Do you know how much it is expected to cost in 7 years, when J-P is old enough to attend? About $200,000.  And when Declan is looking to go to college? $330,000.  Whaaaaat?

Perhaps a swimming scholarship is in his future?

Without financial aid and scholarships, there's no way I want my kids to go into that much debt to pay for college.  It will just set them up for failure.  So I will continue to pray for an answer if college is in their future plans.  Phil and I are very much in favor of our kids learning a trade if possible and making a good living on a job that doesn't require a 4 year degree.  Did you know that an elevator installer makes close to $75,000?  That's WAY more than my Catholic high school teaching husband with two Masters degrees makes.  

Don't get me wrong, just because I think college is overpriced does not mean I think it is unimportant.  It's ignorant to think our children won't need a college degree to get a good job, because for almost every white collar job, a college degree is required. Actually, it's just a very basic requirement...usually employers are looking for a  more advanced degree.  All I know for sure is that we want them to be well educated, no matter what they decide to do.  My mom always told us that we could be bus drivers if we wanted to, as long as we were educated bus drivers.  I would reply that I all I wanted to be was a wife and mother, and she would say the same thing, "you'll be an educated wife and mother". 

 I'm so thankful I had her influence since even though being a stay at home mom of many was my life goal, I was extremely grateful to have my MBA to put to use when my vocation expanded to include full-time working mom of many.  God forbid I didn't have my education to fall back on when we couldn't survive as a one income family anymore.  What if something happens to my husband in the future and he can't work?  You can bet I will praise the Lord that I was able to get through college and my Master's program.  I don't regret the years of study and the piles of debt, it's what I wanted and achieved and found a way to pay back.  I don't understand when people are mad about the debt they incurred.  You chose to do that!  Yes, it's a hardship to start your adult life out being in debt, but at least you have the tools you need to get a job to pay off that debt, right?

Probably not going to happen, but one can hope!

But back to my kids...what does the future hold for them?  What can I do to give them the education they need and want?  I know a family who's mother worked in a university's cafeteria to get free tuition for her kids, and another family whose dad became a janitor for the same reason.  That sounds like a good future plan, and I already have experience from when I cleaned bathrooms at Steubie!  For now, we are hellbent on giving them great Catholic school educations through high school, and then hope to guide them in their decision making process for the future.  We know that Heaven is the ultimate goal, but using their God given talents and working hard while on this Earth are what they are called to do on the path towards eternal life, and I hope we can help them achieve their dreams.

That's What He Said

Can I eat my ice cream yet??

Xander: I don't want to take a nap.

Me: Well, it's nap time.

Xander: But I don't want to take a nap.

Me: I'm not going to tell you again...

Xander: But I told you I don't want to take a nap zero times!

Walking up to receive Holy Communion at Mass...

Xander: (spying the man with an eye patch) Look, it's a pirate!

Me: Xander, it's time to get ready for bed.

Xander: Whatyousay?

Me: Get ready for bed.

Xander: Whatyousay?

Me: It's bedtime.

Xander: Ughhhh, that doesn't even make any sense.

Xander: What you doing?

Me: I'm taking a shower.

Xander: Because you so stinky?

After the waitress brought him some chocolate milk:

Xander: You such a nice lady.

And he still says a lot of words wrong (but oh so cute!)...

Crumpling up the receipt on the way out of the grocery store:

Xander: Look, I scrippled it!

Looking like I caught him red-handed:

Me: What were you doing?

Xander: I was touching your McPuter.

7 QT: Things That Make Me Go Hmmmmm

1)

How does the trash can need to be emptied every.single.day?  We aren't even here for the majority of the day, and yet the trashcan gets filled.

2)

Why don't people give other people the benefit of the doubt?  This week, I left what I thought was a nice, encouraging comment on someone's blog post, and got an angry reply to what I said.  Then someone else tried to stick up for me by explaining what I meant, and that same person left her an angry comment.  There are plenty of times when I say too much, or need to learn to bite my tongue, but when I actually leave what I think is a sweet comment, and then get in trouble for it, it makes me want to crawl back into my shell.

3)

When you say you will pray for someone, how do you follow through?  If a friend asks me for prayers, I try to immediately say a Hail Mary so that I don't forget to pray for their intention.  But maybe there's a better system, like writing it down and setting aside time to pray for those written intentions.

4)

How do people make time for their friends?  I would love advice on this one.  Do you have a monthly girl's night out?  Meet weekly for playtime with the kids?  Talk on the phone every day?  I always feel like I am so busy meeting the daily demands of my own family that I rarely make time to be social, and I know friendships are important  relationships that need to be nurtured.

5)

How come the saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" doesn't apply to the Internet?  This is why social media just isn't good for my thin skin.  I try so hard to be careful in what I write, stating my opinions in ways that I don't think will be offensive, and yet still manage to get comments from angry people telling me that because I said education is important to me, that means I am putting them down because they don't think education is as important.  Uhhh, no, I just am telling you about the way I was raised, not saying it's the perfect way to be raised.  Not everything you write about is a reflection on me, and vice versa.  I don't read a post about the wonderful benefits of homeschooling and then leave an angry anonymous comment WITH CAPITAL LETTERS TO SHOW HOW MAD I AM saying that you must be calling me a bad mom because I don't homeschool.

6)

When I was pregnant with my second child, I used to worry about how I was going to love him as much as the first.  Now that I have all these beautiful babies, I still wonder about how a parent's heart manages to love them each so much.  How is that possible?

7)

Is their a cheaper way to feed a family of slightly picky eaters on a budget?  I don't want to skimp on protein, and they don't eat seafood or beans.  Plus I'm not home to spend hours cooking.  Teach me your ways, oh wise ones.

Have a beautiful smack-dab-in-the-middle-of-the-summer weekend!

God's Doors

I've never been the type of person who just sits back and prays for things to happen.  Maybe this is a weakness in my spiritual life, and I should be more trusting that God can work miracles and let Him do His job.  But I just can’t seem to let that happen, I always have to try and do my part.  I will always believe that God helps those who help themselves, so instead of praying for God to solve the problem, I pray for Him to open a door to help me solve the problem.  

My Mom had a homemade ice cream shop on Cape Cod for twenty years, and that shop was an answer to her prayers for how to help out our family financially while my Dad’s building business was being hit by the depression in the eighties.  She had never made ice cream before, never run a business, never taken classes on management and the like.  She was a nurse that stayed at home while her kids were young, and when my Dad was struggling to make ends meet, God gave her the opportunity to open up a shop in our quaint little Cape Cod village.  

She took that open door, heavy though it was, hung a sign that read “God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called” and started a successful little business that provided for her family’s needs.  She worked so very hard to be able to give her kids good educations, and from that family business, so many more doors were opened to us kids.  Because you know what a family business makes?  Good hard workers.  

I was only six when the ice cream shop opened, and I worked filling spoons, washing buckets, wiping tables, whatever I could do until I was able to serve customers at the ripe old age of 12, and became the manager at 16.  My five siblings did the same, we all worked long hours and learned valuable lessons in customer service, finances, and business management.  Then we all went on to higher education because we knew how to study hard, work for what we wanted, and achieve the jobs we desired.  In the end, my parents ended up with an engineer/lawyer, two doctors, a computer/tech specialist, an accountant, and a nurse.  Not too shabby for a family of six kids who grew up scooping ice cream and making waffle cones, with an immigrant Dad and a stay at home Mom.  

I’m not saying all of that to brag, but to illustrate the point that working hard and getting the grace to see an open door when it presents itself is key in getting answers to prayers.  Could God have just let some rich distant relative leave us an inheritance and not made my mom open that shop?  Of course!  Nothing is impossible with God!  But that would have been a screen door answer to her prayers, doors that just fly open to give what you need without doing much on your part.  Sometimes God gives us these easy answers, these screen doors, and what a gift they are.  

But sometimes the answer to our prayers is a little more challenging, like walking through a sliding door, which requires just a little effort on our part before we can see the puzzle pieces sliding together.

And sometimes there’s more to be learned or experienced than just an easy answer to a prayer.  Sometimes God’s doors are very big, heavy, doors. Doors that we don’t want to go through at all, but feel we must.   Doors that are so hard to open that we wonder if we are doing the right thing at all.

Most times they are more like a maze of many, many doors, and we can’t see the answer until it’s all over and we can look back with clarity that God did indeed lead us down that twisted path for a reason.  

And, of course, there’s the saying that God does not close a door without opening a window.  That’s called hope.  We may not understand why He’s acting as bodyguard to the door we want to enter, but we have hope and faith to believe that He will give us what we need when we need it.

Weekend Update: Bass, Mass, Sass, and Covering Your, uh, Bum

On Sunday morning we took the kids to Bass Pro Shops near where the best football team in the world plays to kill a little time before we were picking up a priest after his Sunday Mass.  My boys love this shop, and must have each asked me 4,321 times if they could get a BB gun or fishing pole.  They do not realize we live in not-the-middle-of-the-forest.  They also do not realize they have a mother who loves not nature.  I mean, sure, it's great to look at, but there's a reason Jim Gaffigan and I connect on so many levels:

Anyway, back to the store...

Sometimes I am still shocked that we have six kids!!  But they're so great!!

Declan loves being carried around like a sack of potatoes.
What, you don't carry sacks of potatoes around in a baby bjorn?

"Mom, you should come in here!"
"No thanks, I can't fit."
"Oh yeah, cuz you're so big."
"We say 'tall' not 'big'"

Heroes in a half shell.

Don't look behind ya!

They have a half mile "hike" (I always think hikes are supposed to be uphill, and this was flat) around this small body of water in the back of the store.  It's nice, and about as outdoorsy as I want to be.  Don't get me wrong, I don't hate nature....I just respect it and want to leave the wild animals alone.  Did you know that I once went hiking in California and started seeing warning signs all over the place for mountain lions?  I've never been more scared in my life.  Ooooh, another time, I was running in New Hampshire and there were black bear warning signs.  That was a close second.  Maggie definitely inherited my nature fears and was scared of ticks and every time she heard a bird in the woods.  She did have a tick in her ear once, and birds are just rodents with wings, so her fear is warranted.

Looking for frogs on all those lilly pads.

After we picked up our priest friend, we drove him to the airport and were able to have lunch with one of my dear friends, Sarah.  It was super fast and chaotic and I wish we could have spent the whole weekend with her.  We didn't even remember to get a picture together.  Bad bloggers.

So I wanted to share with you all a new tank top I got that I am really loving:

It's from Kohl's and it's the perfect postpartum tank because it's blousy around the belly area, but still manages to be flattering.  It's also long enough to mostly cover your bum, which is a plus when you're wearing capri leggings like I do when running. 

Well, these photos are a lesson in humility for me.  But I'm trying to prove that they help cover the postpartum tummy.  Maybe once I lose the rest of this baby weight, these will be my before pictures.  The afters won't come for another year and a half because I seem to get back in good shape riiiiiight before getting pregnant again ;)

 If you order one from Kohls using your Kohl's card and the promo codes "Beach30" and "JulyMVC" before July 20, you can get it for only $6.30!!  I may or may not have bought 4 of them.  And no, Kohl's does not pay me to say anything nice about them (but I wish they did!)