When I was hugely pregnant with my fourth baby and had a 4 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old running around, I remember thinking "How do moms of big families do it?" It wasn't just a general pondering, I wanted specifics. I needed specifics. I found out there was a family with 6 kids nearby (hi Michelle!) and I remember telling Phil that I just wanted to go sit in her house to see how she handles it all. Not creepy at all since I didn't even know her back then ;) Now we're the best of friends and she has 8 children under her roof plus takes care of my two youngest while I work. Amazing.
|Like, how do you take a nice Christmas card photo?|
But where was I? Oh yes, I wanted a glimpse into the secrets of parenthood, perhaps just some hope that these days wouldn't kill me and I wouldn't regret being open to life? I wanted to walk side by side with moms who were in the same state of life so we could help each other and give each other tips and keep each other sane. And then, Phil bought me this book for Christmas and I discovered mommy blogs. Into my world came the likes of Danielle Bean, Rachel Balducci, Sarah Turner, Leila Lawler, and many others who don't even blog anymore. These moms were so inspiring to me and so practically helpful with the day to day stuff. I remember one blogger who wrote that when she feeds her kids waffles, she piles up a few waffles together and then cuts them into bite size pieces instead of cutting each one individually. Little things like that I hadn't yet thought of as a young mom and helped me in the moment. It not only helped me cut the waffles faster, but it reminded me that other moms were doing these same tasks for their children all over the world. As lonely as it can feel being a mom, it was a nice reminder that there are millions of us doing the same work.
Where am I going with all of this? I don't really know except to say that blogging/social media used to be such a great place to lift me up in my vocation. But now, I don't know. It seems like the blogging world is growing smaller, with more people (myself included) spending time on other platforms or only writing for the paycheck. I miss posts about day to day life from my blogging buddies: Dwija and Cari and Lisa and Sarah and Aimee and Aubrey. I think the combination of our children getting older and losing the freedom to write all about the babies they used to be is a big factor. Also, there are always younger, newer, cooler, fresh bloggers out there that can make us
older classically trained bloggers feel antiquated. Seriously how do they raise children in designer clothes and have gorgeous homes with DIY decor? Good for them, but sometimes it leaves me feeling left out and let down (my own problem, I know).
But it's exactly the moms of older kids, who have walked the path with me or are just slightly ahead to warn me of any falling rocks, whose ideas and opinions I want to read about. Don't get me wrong, I will always love the mommy bloggers of babies and toddlers, as I'm still in those trenches myself! But I can't read a post from a mom of babies who claims to know the best.way.to.do.everything without chuckling. Maybe that's precisely another reason why moms of older kids don't blog much - because we realize after all these years of parenting all these different personalities that we don't know ANYTHING AT ALL :)
|Seriously kids, I'm just winging it.|
I realize I'm just questioning where all the older mommy bloggers are without helping with the solution. Maybe this post is enough to get my own behind in gear to start writing like I used to, back when nobody knew I existed and I could pretty much say whatever I wanted without fear of anyone actually reading it! Sadly, I don't think I can write that freely anymore, since I have to take into account that my bigger kids know I have a blog and Phil's students have discovered it. I feel like an old lady wishing for days gone by and not wanting to give in to the notion that the blogging heyday may have come and gone.