Dear Hugenormous Body of Mine,
I've been giving you a lot of disrespect lately. I see you in the mirror and think "Eeew. Where has my human body gone and what is this alien replacement doing here?" But amongst my rude comments, you still keep plugging away each day to do exactly what I need, and for that I wish to thank you.
To the feet that I can no longer see: Thank you for allowing me to go for walks each day and pretty pink toenails that make me smile when I can actually catch a glimpse. Even though you hurt like heck at the end of each day, you give my husband something to rub while we watch tv, and for that I'm sure he thanks you too.
To my legs: Thank you for not complaining that I don't keep you as smooth as normal. And although I can no longer count on you to hold me in a squatting position over the toilet, you haven't *yet* given me cankles or varicose veins. Thank you so much for that!
To my poor stretched belly: Thank you for being so generous in giving your all when it comes to expanding for Baby Boo. You could have stayed small and cute, but you sacrificed to let this baby have all the room (s)he wants in there. And thank you for those stretch marks that could teach an abstinence class all by themselves. You know how I hate speaking in front of a crowd, so I'm glad you can get the word out for me.
To my arms that get chunkier with each passing day: Thank you for not caring about tank-top and bathing suit season coming up. Some limbs can be so superficial, but not you. You are building layers upon layers to help me one day hold what has to be the biggest baby ever. Arnold Swartzenegger - watch out!
To my face and neck: Thank you for reminding me daily that I need to eat a healthier diet. Without seeing your swollen, puffy, and chubby additions, I might not be able to stop myself from eating one.more.bowl of ice cream. You are so helpful!
To my hair: Thank you for sticking in there with me. I know once baby is born, you will shed and clog my shower drain, but until then, at least you can make me feel somewhat feminine.
And so, my maternal body, I vow to be a little more respectful when I talk to you, a little more enthusiastic about all the changes you are making, and a little more appreciative of all that you do for me and this baby of ours. If you can help me through the labor, I promise to get you back in tip-top shape...eventually.