Ask Me Anything: Schooling Questions and College Decisions

Ellen asks: Do you wish you had made a different decision about what to study at school?  I love Franciscan University of Steubenville and want to encourage my kids to go there but the amount of debt kids come away with is scary.

Erin asks: Can you please give some tips on how to start the post high school/college process?  I have no idea where to begin and I have two high schoolers.

mbmom11 asks: Would you ever send your kids to public school?

Thank you for the questions, ladies!  We always knew we wanted our kids to go to good Catholic schools.  Phil and I both went to a mix of Catholic schools and public schools (and Phil homeschooled for middle school) and then we went to a very Catholic college (Franciscan University of Steubenville) where we met on the Austrian campus.  Homeschooling our kids was never an option for us because we both had to work to make ends meet.  Phil is a high school Theology teacher and gets tuition abatement for our kids because of how long he's been there.  I also worked in Catholic schools in various accounting roles to get the rest of the tuition abatement necessary.  We chose to take lower paying jobs in Catholic schools because we knew the benefit of having our kids tuition covered was HUGE.  

Preschool through 12th grade

Two years ago, I left my job at the Catholic high school as Business Manager and took a job in the public school as the District Accountant.  Seeing the issues that happen in the public schools totally reinforces our decision to send our kids to Catholic schools.  But I know how very lucky we are to have this option and to have jobs that provide tuition as a benefit.  If we did not have tuition covered, we would definitely have to put our kids in public schools as the cost of Catholic high school is $12,400 per student and Catholic elementary school is $4300 per student.  This year alone our cost would total $50,100 for our youngest six kids and our oldest isn't even included in that since he's in college.  Of course, the schools provide scholarships and financial aid and we probably would never have to pay that much, but even half of that amount would be an impossible ask.

OK, now for some college talk.

{With the caveat that I have only sent one child to college with my second applying currently}

After sacrificing and working hard to send our kids to Catholic schools from age 3 through 18, we of course want them to continue with a Catholic education in college.  We can't imagine sending them out at the incredibly vulnerable ages of 18-22 to a school that pushes agendas we don't agree with and potentially have our kids lose their faith.  We take our role and vow to raise them in the faith very seriously, and if we are helping to pay for their education then we need it to be helping them not hurting them.  This is a touchy and personal subject and I don't want to make anybody upset, so I'm just telling our position.  

Attending Franciscan was an amazing college experience.  Phil and I got to live away from home, make friends from all over the world (seriously most of my friends were the international students as I was paired up with a roommate from the Philippines and then roomed with a friend from the Caribbean) and felt comfortable to be surrounded by fun, faith-filled professors and students.  We also got to study abroad and live in an old monastery being taught by American professors while traveling around Europe every weekend.  I mean, c'mon.  When our oldest son chose to attend Franciscan, we were so excited for him and felt very comfortable letting him go and helping him pay for it.  

I think the cost of college is CRAZY and the Catholic schools around here are about $80,000 per year.  Franciscan starts around $40,000 so it already feels like such a good deal.  JP was able to get an awesome academic scholarship, an alumni scholarship and financial aid so that he has to pay $13,000 per year.  That's basically the cost of sending a kid to our Catholic high school, and JP not only attends college for that price, but also lives on campus, has a generous meal plan, access to all the amenities and events, etc.  We make JP pay half and we pay half for his first two years, until we need to start paying for Andrew's first two years and so on.  JP's only loans will be the federal loans which will total less than $20,000 for his college years.  He took AP courses in high school and a few college courses  and is able to graduate in 3 years if everything stays on track, which saves a bunch of tuition as well.  We feel that after being faithfully formed for all of college, he will be able to go out into the world confident and knowledgeable enough to attend grad school or med school anywhere.  And he's on his own financially for that stage.

Andrew has applied to seven colleges, and gotten into five so far and is waiting to hear from the other two.  His financial aid packages are coming in high because we will have two in college next year.  This helps!  Andrew is a lot quieter about where he wants to go and although we love Franciscan, we will not force him to attend :)  He has applied to six Catholic schools and one state school where he would commute if he went that route.  This is our backup plan in case he can not afford a Catholic college tuition - just live at home and attend classes nearby.  We would hate for him to miss having a real college experience, studying abroad and getting some freedom, but we have to be practical at the same time!  He can always transfer to another college after a year or two which will reduce expenses as well.  If any of our kids showed interest in a trade, we would definitely encourage that route, especially with programs like St. Joseph the Worker or Harmel Academy but so far no takers.

To answer the question of if I wish *I* would have studied something different - I don't think so.   I started as a Biology major, intending to become a doctor like two of my older siblings, but switched after one semester!  I stayed at Franciscan for five years and got my Accounting degree and my MBA, which gave me a broad background for a lot of potential jobs.  I always hoped to have a big family, and I knew accounting provided many opportunities to work part-time or full-time depending on what the family would need. 

Now do we wish that *Phil* had studied something different - 100% yes and I say that with his approval.  Phil graduated with his Theology degree from Franciscan and then went to Providence College for his Masters in Religious Studies, and then got his second Masters in Educational Leadership from the University of Dayton.  He had hoped to become a college professor and teach Theology, but once we got married and the babies started coming we knew completing a PhD program was out of the question for him.  Too many years of school and too many years of not being able to provide for the family during that time.  Wanting to be a teacher with a Theology degree really means you can only teach at a Catholic elementary or high school so your options are limited and the pay is low.  However, he is amazing in this role and has been very happy teaching high school for 20 years, being Department Chair for most of that time, and also being the Director of Religious Ed at our parish.  With his Masters in Educational Leadership, he can become an Administrator and has been looking into that route more recently, so we'll see what happens there.  If he could go back in time, he thinks he might have enjoyed counselling and I could totally see him as a lawyer with the way he likes to debate with his students :)

As far as what you can do to help the college process while your kids are still in high school....there's not too much?  Obviously getting good grades is important, and having them challenge themselves to take the hardest course they can get good grades in is important.  Take the AP course if you can get an A or B but take the college prep course if you can't.  I have found that kids get into colleges based on their academics, but then get scholarships based on their leadership skills, extracurriculars and financial need.  So being Class President might not get them into a college per se, but can write about that leadership opportunity for scholarships.  It all adds up!  Volunteer hours, sports awards, leadership experience, taking outside classes or certifications (JP became an EMT his senior year which got him a medical scholarship) seem to be what scholarship applications want.  Oh!  You can start taking your kids on college visits, even informally just walk around a campus to get them to start thinking about what they want or don't want.  So far my oldest boys realized they did not want a city school after touring a couple in Boston and Providence, but some kids love that scene.  Have them get a job as soon as possible so they can start making money for college.  There's a limited number of summers to earn between when they can get a work permit and when they leave for college!

I think the financials will always work out, so have faith in that.  You can always ask for more aid (and use other college packages to negotiate with the college you want) or more work opportunities.  For example, JP found out their was a Leadership Scholarship that requires him to take a weekly class and do certain activities in return for an additional $2000 per year.  That worked out great because it replaced a $2000 scholarship from an outside source that was only good for his first year.  And even though I hate debt, there are some things that are worth it.  A wonderful college experience where you get to grow in your faith and learn in a safe environment and make awesome friends (and maybe meet your spouse!) is worth the debt to me.  People will happily go into debt for a big house or a new car or a fancy vacation or an extravagant wedding, but I would rather my kids go into debt for an educational experience that will set them up for life.  It's an investment into their future self and the whole point of it is to get the good job that pays off the debt as quickly as possible.  Phil and I struggled and sacrificed to pay off our college and grad school debt but we would never have chosen to give up our time at Franciscan in order to have no debt.  It was hard, but it was so so good.

First dance of many many more