I recently read this post by Swistle about how she approaches the Christmas season as a non-practicing Christian. The title is obviously clickbait, but the whole post left me with a yucky feeling. I understand that Swistle and I disagree on a lot of topics, which has never stopped me from reading her posts that I have always considered to be well thought out and written. She can write about the most mundane topic in such a way that makes it interesting and presents viewpoints I hadn't thought of before. Even when I don't personally agree with her viewpoints, I have appreciated her thoughts. But "Taking the Christ out of Christmas" feels wrong to even retype here. Go ahead and read her post if you haven't already.
OK, so here are my thoughts as humble and inadequate as ever. Know thyself :)
If there was a religious holiday (let's say Hanukkah) happening but I did not believe what Hanukkah was about, why would I celebrate it? Why would I light the menorah and celebrate eight days of a holiday that means nothing to me? I wouldn't because that would be disrespectful, a slap in the face to Jews who fervently believe what they practice. I can't just take the best parts of a religion without all of the other parts too. That would be completely disingenuous.
And it goes deeper than just celebrating holidays of a faith in which we don't believe. It's the concept of people belonging to a religion and trying to change it to suit themselves. I see it all the time in my Catholic faith. People who call themselves Catholics but then publicly live a life that does not align with Catholic beliefs. Now I'm not saying we're not sinners. Of course we are, and we mess up, but we should be trying to live a life in full agreement with our faith. We are practicing Catholics, not fake Catholics. When a "Catholic" politician votes for laws that go against church teaching, I'm not "judging" them, they are revealing themselves publicly.
I have seven children, and I am trying to raise them in the Catholic faith. We struggle and sacrifice to send them to Catholic schools from preschool through college because our faith is that important to us. Some of their classmates in these schools are there solely for the quality of education, discipline, and family values. But they aren't all there for the faith aspect of the school. Then do you know what happens? They complain about having theology as a subject, about having to attend Mass as a school, and they make fun of tenets of our faith.
Can you imagine if we treated other religions this way? If I sent my kids to a Muslim school and had them complain and refuse to follow the rules and practices? If I called myself a Hindu publicly but then ordered beef every time I'm out to eat? I would never disrespect those religions by mocking them in these ways.
I don't know why people seem to have no problem doing it to Christians.
Is it because Christians are taught to love others? To see Jesus in the hearts of everyone? To turn the other cheek? Has our faith been so watered down by the way others have treated it disrespectfully that we have lost our way a bit? Are we afraid to stand up and say "Hey, that's not right" because we will be labeled a hater and cancelled? Let us not forget that Jesus flipped tables when people weren't respecting his church, and he loved sinners but told them to go and sin no more.
I don't have all the answers, and I'm not even sure what advice I would give to non-believers who want to celebrate the fun parts of our holiday (Holy Day). I think I would want them to first and foremost respect Christians enough to realize that Christmas (Christ's Mass) is a religious holiday all about Christ. There's no taking Christ out of Christmas, just as there is no taking you out of your birthday celebration. What else would we be gathered around to celebrate? On that note, would you show up to a friend's birthday party to have a good time and then ignore that friend the rest of the year? Why do it with Jesus?
If you want to participate in the secular aspects of doing good works, giving gifts, spending time with family...well those are all good things, and you should go right ahead. Call it a family gathering, call it a celebration of lights, call it Festivus if you want. But let's not redefine the true meaning of Christmas to rationalize a lack of faith.
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| image from The Nativity Story |
I had not considered this angle, and you raise an excellent point. Why would I light a menorah if I don't practice that faith? When our kids attended Catholic grade school, there were many families who felt like paying tuition entitled them to insist that their kid landed in the class taught by the teacher they preferred over another teacher, etc. I could not imagine sending my kids to that school, if it wasn't because I valued the Catholic education. Thanks for sharing this. The only part I disagree with is the 'inadequate - know thyself'. I think you nailed a complicated topic and shed light on why it makes no sense to celebrate Christmas if you don't do it because of the birth of Christ.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind people celebrating being with family etc. but just don't say that you can take Christ out of Christmas when that's the only reason for Christmas, ya know? And thank you for your nice words Ernie!
DeleteOh my goodness…Colleen, have you been eavesdropping on us? We have spoken these words in our house many times, almost verbatim. I applaud you and agree wholeheartedly! Without Christ, there is no Christmas! God bless you for this post.
ReplyDeleteI would love to be eavesdropping on you - to copy what you have done to raise such a wonderful family of faith :)
DeleteSwitching between you and Swistle and Simcha to evaluate all the angles! I'm going to contemplate....
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing up Simcha's piece - switching between the three is really an interesting contemplation...
DeleteLike Mary "ponder things in your heart". That's what I did after I read Swistle's post and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Her last line "It WAS special in itself, BEFORE the Baby Jesus; it can be special in itself, after." doesn't make sense to me in regards to Christmas (I get it for a winter celebration in general) because Baby Jesus is the ONLY reason we celebrate Christmas.
DeleteYes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
DeleteWow. This resonated with me. Very well said and I appreciate your insight!
ReplyDeleteThank you Debi, it's always nerve-wracking to write about these things.
DeleteThere are two holidays at the same time--Xmas (secular) and Christmas (the feast of the incarnation) is the way I have come to see it. Maybe people who tire of Xmas will begin to wonder what Christmas is all about. We can pray!
ReplyDeleteI like that distinction very much. X-mas where Christ is literally taken out of it.
DeleteI love your analogy here; spot on my friend. I mentioned something similar to this last year on my blog (of course, in a comedic way) but was I was informed (athiest/agnostic) that the holiday has shifted and it's now secular. HUH? I guess I didn't get the memo. I believe in 2025 it's call appropriation.
ReplyDeleteWow, you are so right with the appropriation comment.
DeleteI've been thinking about this post so much over the last day, Colleen.
ReplyDeleteI think this is the part that resonates with me the most: "If there was a religious holiday (let's say Hanukkah) happening but I did not believe what Hanukkah was about, why would I celebrate it? Why would I light the menorah and celebrate eight days of a holiday that means nothing to me? I wouldn't because that would be disrespectful, a slap in the face to Jews who fervently believe what they practice. I can't just take the best parts of a religion without all of the other parts too. That would be completely disingenuous."
I am not offended when non-Christians call it Christmas and celebrate in secular ways, BUT my heart is sad for them because I think about what the root of a lack of faith means. I think you CAN take Christ out of Christmas and still enjoy the holiday and all the exciting, special things about the season but there will always (ALWAYS) be a God-shaped hole not just at Christmas but the rest of the year. Christmas is celebrated in the calendar one day, but for the Christian, the good news of Christmas is celebrated all year round. So there is an added level of depth and meaning to the season that can only be accessed with a genuine love of Christ. Which is VERY hard to articulate to someone who doesn't share in the same faith.
Such a complicated topic and I admire you for tackling it.
I agree that people can celebrate in a secular way at this time of year...but I don't agree with them trying to redefine our special holy day by saying that Jesus doesn't matter on Christmas. There would be no Christmas without Him. I love what you said about having the God-shaped hole and the different levels of depth based on one's relationship with Christ. Thank you for your thoughtful comment Elisabeth!
DeleteI’ve been thinking about this too since reading the post on the other blog and on one hand I was glad to read it because it helped answer a question I’ve been too afraid to ask non-Christians (Why celebrate if you don’t believe and how the heck do you explain it to your children?!). On the other hand it made me deeply sad. I can see where people want to hang onto the good and fun secular aspects (family time, slowing down, etc) but without Christ in it, it feels and sounds pretty empty.
ReplyDeleteMy understanding is that there are plenty of people of other faiths who are lapsed in their particular faith but still participate in the big holidays (Hanukkah, Diwali, Eid etc) for cultural reasons, and I suppose that’s what’s going on here too. America was culturally Christian in many ways for so long that I do think the people who say it’s become a part of general American culture have a point. There are soooo many totally secular aspects. But just celebrating those and then trying to justify that feels like a lot of cognitive dissonance to me.
Oh and don’t get me started on non-Christians celebrating Easter. I can’t figure out how on earth that gets rationalized, let alone what one tells one’s kids.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about Easter too! What do they tell the kids it's about? I think that's how we should also feel about Christmas but we've been so desensitized by all the secular cultural activities (like you mention) that you can almost get away with celebrating Christmas without having to really think about the why.
DeleteColleen, I loved reading this thoughtful and passionate response to Swistle's piece (which I also loved). You have given me a lot of things to think about.
ReplyDeleteYour point about lighting the menorah is particularly interesting to me because we light the menorah during Hanukkah, and we at least make a nod toward the other holy days of the Jewish tradition, and yet we don't belong to a synagogue or observe the Jewish faith in any other meaningful way. We have also always talked about Jesus and Christianity and read my daughter stories from both faiths since she was very young. This feels like an important aspect of my role as my particular child's parent: I guess I feel like I'm trying to give my daughter a little taste of her heritage on both sides, so she grows up feeling at least sort of familiar with and part of the traditions, whatever she ends up believing. And yet I know -- I KNOW -- I am doing a terrible, half-hearted job of it. Religious faiths are not merely their holidays! I know that, and I certainly take your point about feeling miffed that some of us seem to cherry pick specific religious elements without signing up for the whole thing.
For me, it feels like Christmas and Easter and Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are touchpoints that allow me to address key moments in each faith when I have neither the knowledge nor the energy to focus on either on a daily basis. Ugh. I feel like I am explaining myself poorly, and that's maybe a symptom of the larger problem which is how to leave an opening for religious exploration for a kid whose parents aren't observant of any faith. Anyway, I am not trying to say my way is right; it most definitely is NOT, but it's what I've managed to cobble together at this point. Much like this comment, which is quite a jumble.
I really appreciate your perspective, and I always admire your conviction in your faith and your willingness to share it with your readers.