Thursday, May 1, 2008

NFP: It's a Love/Hate Relationship

If you're unsure about what NFP is, click on the title link above. If you know what it is, read on.

5 Reasons Why I Hate NFP:

1) It's a bit complicated. There are so many rules to follow, temperatures to take, observations to make and charts to be completed, you'd think mastering the art of NFP should be worth some college credits.

2) It's tough to live out. God made us to procreate after all, and when you have waited until marriage to "perform the conjugal act" with your spouse, you would think it would be a free-for-all. Think again.

3) It feels as though it's the woman's "chore". Sure, they taught us in class that the husband should take his wife's temp in the morning and it should be an open discussion between spouses. But when you boil it down, it's really up to the woman to note all the changes in her body, piece them all together and then let her husband know if it's a fertile time or not.

4) Men are amorous. This is something my mom told me before I got married, and boy was she right! So when trying to postpone the birth of another child, it feels like the woman is being a mean wife and not fulfilling her marital debt. (Note, Phil has never made me feel that way, it's just how I see it) I, personally, like to put the blame on the male species because at least we as women were created with a cycle. This means that we are infertile as well as fertile during different times in the month. A man however is always just fertile. So there!

4) The whole grave reason clause. If a Catholic couple is using NFP to postpone another child, the couple must have grave reasons to do so. But just what does that mean? The Church teaches that you are supposed to look in the areas of emotional, physical and mental health of the mother, the financial state of the household, as well as think about the well-being of the children you already have. So if I'm just tired from 5 years of nights without uninterrupted sleep, does that count? How about the fact that my husband is a Catholic High School teacher, and I need to at some point work full-time or close to it just to make ends meet? But where does trust come into that equation? Shouldn't I trust that God will make it work out for us in the future as He has so generously in the past? I wish He would just give me a definitive number of children to have. I am much better at following rules than interpreting guidelines.

5) My husband is a hottie. Enough said!

Now, 5 Reasons Why I Love NFP:

1) I am able to live in accordance with the teachings of the Catholic Church without any feelings of guilt.

2) I am working with the natural rythyms of my cycle without having to put any chemicals into my body.

3) There are no barriers between my huband and I. We are giving of ourselves totally, including our fertility.

4) We are being open to life and pro-life.

5) Here's the best reason why I love NFP; it was through being open to life that we conceived our four beautiful children:


  1. Colleen,

    So true. I'm with ya!

  2. Love it! Thanks for the link, Colleen!!!


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