I heard once that if you add together all the ages of all your children, you get your "mother age". That means that I am 9+7+5+4+8 months = 25.8 mother years old. In my 25.8 mothering years, I have often wondered how my kids view me.
Sure, I know they look up to me while they are little. And I know that they love me unconditionally just as I love them. I could even jump to the conclusion that they think I am the best mom in the world, as all young children dare to do.
But as a person, not just a mom, how do I measure up? When they see me in my non-mother roles, such as Business Manager, wife, runner, Catholic, daughter, sister, friend...how do they think I rate?
Recently I came across that beloved Bible verse in 1 Corinthians 13: Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
And I thought, yup, that is exactly how I want my kids to view me:
Mom is patient, Mom is kind. She is not jealous, not pompous, not inflated, not rude, does not seek her own interests, is not quick-tempered, does not brood over injury, does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
But, wow, I have a LOT I need to change about myself in order to be remembered in this manner. Especially the patient and quick temper parts. Ouch.
As Mother Theresa said "Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." And so each day I will begin anew with this verse to remind me of the kind of person I want to be when I grow up. Because God knows I'm not there yet. Not even close :)