Sometimes I pause for a moment and am overwhelmed with gratitude for all I have been given. It's usually followed by a moment of panic as I start to think about what could go wrong because I can't possibly deserve all these good things. But let's stick to the feelings of thankfulness, shall we?
Whenever John-Paul starts a bath for the baby, or Andrew reminds me to sign a permission slip, or Eamon puts on his shinguards and cleats by himself, or Maggie reads her own bedtime story, or Alexander walks around entertaining himself, I think, how on Earth did we get here?
Back when I had four babies aged 4 and under, there were so many days when I would be cutting up somebody's food while breastfeeding a baby while trying to get a toddler to stop hitting his brother, and I would think that this was never.going.to.end. Those moms who told me to appreciate my time at home with my littles because the "days fly by" couldn't have been more annoying.
The days did not fly by. I would glance at the clock every ten minutes counting down to when Phil could get home and rescue me. And I had it lucky, because he would get home around 3:30 and I would be ready with my shoes on to go do something...anything that required me to be alone. Trips to the grocery store or Target or the post office or even a dentist appointment became a highly anticipated event. On the days I had no errands to run, I would literally run away from it all and clear my head through exercise.
Those days were so long.
But the years were so fast.
Because somehow I got to a place where being home alone all day with the kids doesn't overwhelm me anymore. In fact, now that I work full-time, I actually enjoy it! Don't get me wrong, I love, adore, and cherish my children...but sometimes the amount of work involved in caring for the clan 24/7 would make me dread it.
Now I have it so easy compared to the old days. I have kids that can help cook and clean and shower themselves, and even though the baby is completely dependent, he's not only dependent on me when there are lots of little people around more than willing to help out.
Yes, there are tough days and trying times when having older children means you are pulled in a million different directions, but above it all, I feel like we are in such a sweet spot in life, and even though I can't explain how we got here so fast, I'm so glad we did!
So, you're saying it gets better? :-) I frequently want to jump out the window each day because it's just nutso around here!!!
ReplyDeleteMy years have gone by too fast as well. I love that they are on showers instead of baths (or even quick baths) and all the big(ger) kid stuff, but this weekend as I go through baby/toddler toys to pack for donate, I'm a little sad. Now is great but those days were great too. I do miss them.
ReplyDeleteYour family is beautiful and you are very blessed!
I feel the same way. Now that Anna is five and can help me out a lot it is much easier to be at home. You are definitely blessed with a house full of beautiful kids!
ReplyDeleteThis brought tears to my eyes for so many reasons. Partly, because it was a reminder I needed. The other part was because as much as I KNOW it's gonna get better and life will change in a flash, right now are some really tough days.
ReplyDeleteWhile rarely shared with anyone besides my husband, these days are very hard. And then I remind myself that 3 years ago I begged for this. I begged for more children. I wept for them. I wouldn't have it any other way and I know that He has a very wonderful plan so beautifully written for our family. But right now THIS is tough. I'm so spent and so tired and exhausted juggling it all.
I know that grace is pouring down every day and I thank you for the reminder that this too shall pass. Given time we will be in a whole different place and today will be a passing memory.
Now I better go get the toddler off the dining room table and the crumbs off the floor out of the baby's mouth :)
Lotus made macaroni and cheese ALL! BY! HERSELF! the other day, thus effectively making lunch for six people with no help from me.
ReplyDeleteIt was like Christmas and winning the lottery all in one.
I totally feel you on this post.
SO true, I always tell people, especially young(er) mothers that have a couple kiddos that it gets easier by the 5th baby. For us it was the 5th anyway...because by that time I could shower or go to the bathroom and not worry that the toddler was going to kill the baby, I had older kiddos that could help out and watch that baby.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter asked me the other day how I did it before I had her to help? I told her it was hard. (it was harder)
I do have to say though, that I thought when we got pregnant with Simeon, that I thought "this will be great, 6th baby--it'll be a breeze" Ummmm, yeah, God thought otherwise, giving us so many new challenges, everything has been harder.
I do try to tell myself every day that I will miss all this someday, but I also tell myself that I won't miss it.
I think I will honestly miss some of it and happy some of it is over and done.
Love this. I think we're just about getting to that sweet spot, as well...though the three year old seems hell bent on thwarting it...
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I think the big thing you mention that hardly gets talked about is the utter isolation a lot of SAHMs go through. I'm there right now, and it's so hard to explain to other people and even your spouse.
ReplyDeleteI think they try and understand, but, even though they're going to work every day, they're still getting to interact with adults, in an adult world, with adult conversation, and a lunch break that's not being taken while barricaded in the bathroom because, sister, you gotta get it all done in the five seconds they're eating their macaroni and haven't decided to vacate the highchair and come stalk you down like the most dangerous game.
Right now, I relish running to the store or doing any errand I can on my own. I practically wept for joy when I got to stand in line to mail a package at the post office last Saturday. Heaven. Pure packing-taped-forever-stamped-overpriced-shipping heaven, I tell you.
I'm just at the beginning! And my kees are shot so they'll be no long runss to help :( YOu truly are blessed. That's all I can say with utter certainty... Blessed with a capital B.
ReplyDeleteYour family is so beautiful! I am in the midst of mania with two under two but it is already going by so fast! You are proof that God truly has a plan for our families! You are so blessed!
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