Thursday, November 8, 2012

At the Doctor's Office

Doctor:  What brings you here today?
Me: My ear hurts.

Doctor: Do you have any other symptoms, like a cold or fever?
Me: I've had a tiny bit of a runny nose, and I never get fevers that would register as one.  My body's natural temperature is too low.

Doctor: How do you know that?
Me: Because when I used to chart my basal body temperature, I had to create new charts because my temps didn't even exist on the pre-made charts.

Doctor: (looks at me strangely) Moving you have seasonal allergies?
Me: Not that I know of.

Doctor: Is it possible that you are pregnant?
Me: Yes, it's always a possibility.

Doctor: (again with the strange look) Are you trying to get pregnant?
Me: Well....we're not contracepting.

Doctor: So if you are pregnant, you plan on keeping the pregnancy?
Me: Yes, I already have five children, so we would welcome another!

Doctor: What???  How old are you?  You look so young!
Me: 33 and thank you.

Doctor: When did you begin your last cycle?
Me: October 8th.

Doctor: (quizzical look) So you're late.
Me: Nope, my cycles are always about 5 to 6 weeks long.

Doctor: (laughing) You are a strange one.
Me: (laughing) So I've been told.

Turns out I do have an ear infection and she prescribed me ear drops and I'd like to think I opened her mind to my pro-life, natural, organic way of living, but I think I just blew it. I really wish I had been born with the ability to speak eloquently. Sigh.  


  1. Ha! This is great, but really I don't think you did all that bad. Truthfully, if I didn't have a NFP doc who knows so much/way more than he wants to know about me, I don't know how I'd answer all those questions. I know I definitely would not speak with authority or like I knew what the heck I was talking about.

    "You are a strange one." Best line yet!!lol.

  2. Haha, love this! I am seeing a (kind of) Napro doctor and it makes me a little sad that I don't have these convos. You'd think I would just be appreciative, but I secretly want to refute comments from doctors!

  3. I think you sounded great! And besides, I think all doctors should be happy that we know so much about how our bodies work. Makes ther job easier! :)

  4. Colleen, nice to "meet" you, too! :) I love having these same conversations with Dr's, too. I'm a walking possiblity of being pregnant! (And my temps run low, too, so when they say, "98.6, you're normal!" I say, "Nope! I told you I have a fever!" If nothing else, if they hear us say this more often, it becomes more normal to them. Heck, we're trying to be the "new normal," right? :)

  5. LOL Love it! Hope you feel better!

  6. made me smile.... again! feel better!

  7. Ear infection? Didnt think adults got those..learn something new every day. I think you are blessed to have 5 kiddos before 33. I didnt find my hubby till I was 26 so I started babies late.

    1. I said the same thing about being too old to get an ear infection and she said "Infections don't show age discrimination!"

  8. I had 2 ear infections in my adult life one this year and one last year. I never once had an ear infection as a child. Now, my husband has them constantly still because he is a strange one...anyway...ummm, keeping the baby comment??? rude.

    hope your ear feels better.

  9. YOU NAILED IT!!! Sweet and to the point. I'm sure you gave her pause. And that's awesome.

    Sorry about the ear infection. I get them every time my nose runs. But we treat them with hydrogen peroxide before they get to the hurting stage. Actually, I have one right now! It's almost gone though. My mom was going to get me tubes as a kid but opted out. Hippies...

  10. I totally get the awkward pause when you say you could be pregnant but you are not actively trying...and then you need to explain. It is like you have two heads. I can't believe that a doctor would ask if you are keeping the baby?? Get well!


  11. lol...if she was open to listen the Holy Spirit would have given you the words! Got to love secular medicine!
    Hope you feel better soon!

  12. ha!! I love it. good for you!!!

    it's so crazy at the 20 week appt "so what are we doing to prevent THIS from happening again?"


    ah, condoms?



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