Thursday, November 8, 2012

At the Doctor's Office

Doctor:  What brings you here today?
Me: My ear hurts.

Doctor: Do you have any other symptoms, like a cold or fever?
Me: I've had a tiny bit of a runny nose, and I never get fevers that would register as one.  My body's natural temperature is too low.

Doctor: How do you know that?
Me: Because when I used to chart my basal body temperature, I had to create new charts because my temps didn't even exist on the pre-made charts.

Doctor: (looks at me strangely) Moving on....do you have seasonal allergies?
Me: Not that I know of.

Doctor: Is it possible that you are pregnant?
Me: Yes, it's always a possibility.

Doctor: (again with the strange look) Are you trying to get pregnant?
Me: Well....we're not contracepting.

Doctor: So if you are pregnant, you plan on keeping the pregnancy?
Me: Yes, I already have five children, so we would welcome another!


Doctor: What???  How old are you?  You look so young!
Me: 33 and thank you.

Doctor: When did you begin your last cycle?
Me: October 8th.

Doctor: (quizzical look) So you're late.
Me: Nope, my cycles are always about 5 to 6 weeks long.

Doctor: (laughing) You are a strange one.
Me: (laughing) So I've been told.

Turns out I do have an ear infection and she prescribed me ear drops and I'd like to think I opened her mind to my pro-life, natural, organic way of living, but I think I just blew it. I really wish I had been born with the ability to speak eloquently. Sigh.  

14 comments:

  1. Ha! This is great, but really I don't think you did all that bad. Truthfully, if I didn't have a NFP doc who knows so much/way more than he wants to know about me, I don't know how I'd answer all those questions. I know I definitely would not speak with authority or like I knew what the heck I was talking about.

    "You are a strange one." Best line yet!!lol.

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  2. Haha, love this! I am seeing a (kind of) Napro doctor and it makes me a little sad that I don't have these convos. You'd think I would just be appreciative, but I secretly want to refute comments from doctors!

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  3. I think you sounded great! And besides, I think all doctors should be happy that we know so much about how our bodies work. Makes ther job easier! :)

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  4. Colleen, nice to "meet" you, too! :) I love having these same conversations with Dr's, too. I'm a walking possiblity of being pregnant! (And my temps run low, too, so when they say, "98.6, you're normal!" I say, "Nope! I told you I have a fever!" If nothing else, if they hear us say this more often, it becomes more normal to them. Heck, we're trying to be the "new normal," right? :)

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  5. LOL Love it! Hope you feel better!

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  6. made me smile.... again! feel better!

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  7. Ear infection? Didnt think adults got those..learn something new every day. I think you are blessed to have 5 kiddos before 33. I didnt find my hubby till I was 26 so I started babies late.

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    Replies
    1. I said the same thing about being too old to get an ear infection and she said "Infections don't show age discrimination!"

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  8. I had 2 ear infections in my adult life one this year and one last year. I never once had an ear infection as a child. Now, my husband has them constantly still because he is a strange one...anyway...ummm, keeping the baby comment??? rude.

    hope your ear feels better.

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  9. YOU NAILED IT!!! Sweet and to the point. I'm sure you gave her pause. And that's awesome.

    Sorry about the ear infection. I get them every time my nose runs. But we treat them with hydrogen peroxide before they get to the hurting stage. Actually, I have one right now! It's almost gone though. My mom was going to get me tubes as a kid but opted out. Hippies...

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  10. I totally get the awkward pause when you say you could be pregnant but you are not actively trying...and then you need to explain. It is like you have two heads. I can't believe that a doctor would ask if you are keeping the baby?? Get well!

    Shelley

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  11. lol...if she was open to listen the Holy Spirit would have given you the words! Got to love secular medicine!
    Hope you feel better soon!

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  12. ha!! I love it. good for you!!!

    it's so crazy at the 20 week appt "so what are we doing to prevent THIS from happening again?"

    nothing.

    ah, condoms?

    nope.

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