He Said, She Said

He Knows Me

While I was looking at my phone...

Phil: Whatcha doing?

Andrew: She's probably bloggin'.

Flawed Logic 

I pulled in the driveway at 5:00 and it was dark out, to find the boys playing in the backyard...

Me: What are you guys doing out here in the dark?

John-Paul: Well, we like being outside, and the kids at school say I'm a little pale, so I'm trying to be a little not pale.

Every Party Needs One

When we walked into that party with all the Portuguese family members...

Phil: (whispers to me) Well, I guess we're the token white family.

I Never Would Have Guessed ;)

 Me: Nice hat, Xander!

"I did it myself!"

Not Taking Any of My Crap

Maggie: Xander has a poop!

Me: Xander, do you have a poop?

Xander: Yes, but you can't say "Eeeww".

My Sensitive Soul
Me: Guys, who wants to go to Thanksgiving Parade with Gammy and Grandpa?
Kids: Me!  I do!  Oooh, me!
Andrew: Well, I do want to go, but I feel bad that you will have to miss us.

Who are "They" Anyway?

While eating lunch together at work...

Phil: This lettuce is pretty good (it was Boston lettuce, a new kind for us).

Me: Yeah, they say the greener it is, the healthier it is.

Phil: "They" being the Green Veggie Growers of America.

He Knows His Sister

Phil and I hugging...

Eamon: If Maggie was here, she would say "I want to get in the middle of that."

Not the Family Secret Keeper

After showing Andrew this picture of Xander:

Andrew: Why do you always take pictures from the toilet?

A Short and Amusing Story, Otherwise Known As...

While watching Hostages:

Me: I think they are trying to poison him and then find the anecdote.

Phil: The what?

Me: You know, the anecdote, the thing that will fight off the poison.

Phil: I don't think that means what you think it means.

Phil Begins to Gray

Xander comes in crying...

Xander: Maggie kissed me!

Phil: Maggie, stop kissing your brother if he doesn't like it.

Maggie: I can't help it!  I tell my brain not to do it, but I can't stop my body!

Phil: Well you'd better get this under control before your teenage years.

Hot Mama
After catching a horrifying glimpse of myself on the way to bed last night...

Me: Phil, Did you ever imagine you would get so lucky?

Eamon Scissorhands

Magician: Eamon, cut the rope.

Eamon: I don't have any scissors.

Magician: Use your magical finger scissors.

(Eamon cuts rope with his fingers)

Magician: Now be careful when you go to the bathroom.

(linking up with Rosie!)