That's What He Said

Found this on my phone, and it pretty much sums up Alexander, age 2.5, right now:

He's a crazy man.

Some of his doozies lately...

In the car, trying to make the kids (or as he calls them all, "the boys") laugh...

Xander: Stinky butt!

Me: Hey, we don't say naughty words.

Xander: No, I want to be in charge!

Me: No, when you are a Dad, you can be in charge.

Xander: Hey, wook, I a Daddy now!

"I swimming!"

Recapping a Pinky and the Brain episode that the kids had rented from the library...

Xander: ...and they were crying and crying!

Me: So they were being cry babies?

Xander: No, they were being cry MOUSES!

"Daddy put jello (gel) in my hair!"

I was wearing one of Phil's Redskins shirts, and Xander noticed...

Xander: You like the Redskins?

Me: Yes.

Xander: You no like the Patriots anymore?

Singing "What the Fox Say?"

Whenever I catch him pooping in his diaper...

Me: Xander what are you doing?

Xander: Uh, I just playing with my toys.

or

Xander: Mom, just go to the kitchen. 

or

Xander: You just watch the tv, Mom.

Every time he picks up his drum to play...
"And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four."

At Mass, Alexander still acts like the mayor at the Sign of Peace, and has to shake everybody's hand he can reach.  After he had gone through everyone around us, a sweet older lady grabbed his hand again...

Xander: (loudly) Hey!  She trying to take my peace!