Friday, January 10, 2014

7 QT: Un-Love Letters


Dear Mother Nature,

What were you thinking giving us an earthquake in New England yesterday?  Sure it was small, but we felt it, and my kids felt it, and now all they talk about is earthquake-related. Fun for them, but a little scary for the Mama.  We already have to contend with blizzards and hurricanes around here, let's not make earthquakes a "thing" too, deal?  


Dear Fellow Gym Members,

The gym is meant for exercising.  I understand that's shocking to those of you who get dressed up and come for social hour, but you are really really distracting to the rest of us who are actually trying to burn some calories in our appropriate workout attires.  There's a reason I pick the treadmill furthest away from humanity, and I don't appreciate when you and your bff use the machines right next to me and discuss the details of last weekend.  Like, oh my gosh, like, you're obvi totes cool, but like, I am sooooooo over it. For reals.


Dear Coworkers,

Did you see my new necklace today?  It reads:


Dear Kohls,

We have a good relationship, we truly do.  So I was shocked when I opened the box of my last Kohls delivery and found that there was only one shelf when I ordered and paid for two shelves.  I emailed you on this matter, but have yet to get a response.  Don't feed me the "It's not you, it's us" line either, because this lady's been around the block before.  Just fix it.  Please and thank you.


Dear Everyone Who Keeps Asking Us If We've Chosen Baby Names Yet,

We are so thrilled that you are interested in this little bambino of ours, but we can't tell you the names we are thinking of because you will ruin them for us.  You are completely entitled to your opinion on what we name our offspring, we just don't want to hear it.  We've had enough problems coming up with monikers this time around, and I think we've finally settled on the top girl name and the top boy name, so when we announce it, please, for the love of God, just smile and coo at the baby.  M'kay?



I know I've been ignoring you a little bit lately.  Sometimes finding the energy just to eat 5 protein heavy meals a day is exhausting, and blogging is pretty much the last thing I want to do.  I've thought about completely breaking up with you many, many times lately, but I'm gonna ride out this hormonal train and see how I feel when it arrives at the station.  Maybe I can get a ghost writer.


Dear Indiana Colts,

See ya tomorrow night!

Hugs and Kisses,


  1. No, no don't stop blogging!! Keep it up!!

    And, an earthquake in New Bedford??? Oh my gosh? Crazy!!!

  2. I had to laugh at your "gym selfies" comment! I'm helping out a friend who's new to social media and at a health and wellness conference. Seriously - 2/3 of these people have pics of their sweaty, spray-tanned selves at the gym for their twitter avatars. This is a huge national convention. I can only hope these folks aren't running around the conference center in workout gear to show off their abs during the seminars - YIKES!

  3. I love this Colleen, and for the record, you are one of those moms who I think can do everything and I'm always always guiltily wishing someone like you would come into my life and whip it all into perfect shape.

  4. U can't break up with us! Especially when you got all that sass! Love me some sass

  5. Always leave here with a smile on my face, Colleen...

    Have an awesome weekend! : )

  6. I totally want to ghost write a post for you...or write a ghost post, your choice. I'll make it sound so totally authentic, no one will realize it's not you. Sounds great right?! Mwahahaha....I mean, please, let me help you out.

  7. Totally with you on #5! Drives me crazy when people give their opinions on the name you have chosen for you child....unless of course it's "What a beautiful name. So fitting for your beautiful baby."

    And please don't stop blogging and Go Pats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Good for you...keep that baby name to yourselves. It's so unfortunate that folks feel like their input means anything. Although, we've gotten "that's unusual" or "huh...interesting" when revealing the name after the birth....from the grandparents...ugh!

    Good luck getting your other shelf from Kohls. If you live close to one and they have it in stores, that may be a better way to go about it. Although, that kind of defeats the whole order from the convenience of your own home, doesn't it? :-)

  9. Oh, you won't stop. You're just in a hormone funk. Besides, I won't allow it, so there's that.

    And I'm totally ignoring my own blog, so I'm free to be your ghost writer. Perfect! ;-)

  10. I would be so sad if you stopped blogging. I love your posts, but I understand it is definitely a time and energy commitment. I tend to do it in spurts. I totally agree with how rude it is that people feel free to comment on your pregnant body. It is just not right!

  11. Ha, that earthquake meme made me laugh! I feel the same lately about blogging and I'm not even pregnant! Take a break if you need to but please don't stop! We'd miss you!

  12. We kept C's name to ourselves almost completely. My mom and dad knew but that's it. It's funny though you've been writing about having trouble coming up with names and I was going through your archives and in Feb 2012 you had your names all figured out! I in no way fault you however because C's "girl" name does not strike me AT ALL anymore! So I'd be in your same boat.

  13. Kohls and I are not on speaking terms right now…and we use to be BFF's. Just blow off the baby names thing. Really. Tell them some far out, over the top name and let them chew on it for bit. (remember to keep a steady look when you do so though.) I didn't hear about your earthquake! When did that happen?

  14. I laughed much too hard at that first picture. It's embarrassing really. And it never ceases to amaze me the things people say when you're pregnant.. regarding your size, the baby's name, how many children you'll have, etc. It's like it's a free for all once you conceive! Through all 3 of my pregnancies I was CONSTANTLY told how HUGE I was. It was fun.

  15. Kind of a tangent... but thinking about baby names....

    Does it kinda bug you when people announce baby names before the baby is born? I don't know... I feel like, what if the name just doesn't fit after you meet the little person? Or something? I just get all tetchy about that.


  16. I always want to quit blogging when I'm pregnant and right after I have the baby. I get it...I'll "ghost" for you. :)

  17. Your QTs are so much more fun than mine today. :) You keep your baby names to yourself and everyone else can butt out!!!!! As for the gym, it makes me laugh. I admit I'm susceptible to peer pressure in this, but not enough to make me change behavior. Yet, anyway. I've been doing Jazzercise for over a year and I'm astonished at how many people put on makeup to come to class. Me, I'm a no-way-am-I-showering-and-primping-until-this-is-over gal. :)

  18. This was the funniest QT I read today - so please don't stop blogging!! And the baby names?? Definitely keep it to yourself - what is UP with people who feel the need to comment on names? Because when the baby is born, you will love it anyway, so who cares what name the parents like?! And the size comment?!! Laughed out loud at that one!

  19. Oh my goodness, that earthquake picture is so funny!
    I totally get the not wanting to share baby names until baby is born- people can be rude! We got a lot of that with Jack, since we just named him Jack, not John.
    And don't stop blogging- you're one of my favs. :)

  20. I'm with Patty. Tell those people some off the wall name like Topanga from Boy Meets World (loved that show growing up). =)

  21. Dear Colleen Martin,
    I just enjoy the socks off your blog. Please don't ever stop.
    A devoted reader

  22. Oh my Colleen, the pic on #1 made Shaun and I both chuckle... a lot.

    As for #3, a friend of mine with her sixth on the way just got a gift of a onsie for her new babe that says "My mother doesn't want your advice" on it. I loved that and thought of you.

    #4 Uh... yeah. I SOOooooo could write that one about Nomoreack. "Little" (understatement) peeved with them right now.

    #6 I need to tell my blog this too.

    Love ya!

  23. AHHHH I'm laughing out LOUD!
    These are hysterical and I'm glad you are blogging, just for this alone! haha.
    And thanks for the Indianapolis pic - that's pretty much what happened.
    And the coworker thing - AGHH.
    And I won't ask you the babe's name because I ONLY have WAIT 2 more months. And besides, I'm sure it will be Sarah because she'll be born on March 23, so that settles it.


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