Encouraging all Men

Last night after dinner, baths, homework, saying the Divine Mercy Novena, and putting the kids to bed (or rather, putting the littles to bed and constantly nagging the older kids to go to bed) Phil and I started cooking dinner for the next day.  I chopped onions and peppers and sauteed the ground beef while he mixed up some cornbread for our version of Taco Pie.  As much as I wanted to just sit down and drink my lime La Croix with a slice of lemon, I knew cooking that dinner would make our lives easier today.  So we cooked and cleaned and prepared lunches and talked and before we knew it, we were done.  Many hands make light work, and a good partner makes that work practically float away.  It was actually kind of, dare I say, fun?  I went to bed feeling so happy and accomplished that I chose the good over the easy.  In serving others, we really can find happiness and in working together towards a common goal, we really can find joy.

Phil cooking and me dancing.  Typical Martin kitchen antics.

I can't emphasize enough how wonderful my husband is.  Phil is a dream of a man ~ hard-working, generous, loving, gentle, brave, devoted, and my best friend.  I feel so lucky to have found him to build a life with, he's a saint! And I certainly won't forget it because everybody who knows us makes sure to tell me how lucky I am to have found him.  A man who can cook?!?!  A husband who will clean a bathroom?!?!  A father who can come home from working all day and competently care for his children?!?!  Is he even for real?

Ummmmm, yeah.

And this is the part where I sound ungrateful and whiny, but (whispering) I do these things too.

There, I (whisper) said it.

So many women I know take on the role of worker, wife, mom, cook, cleaner, and chauffeur.  And that's expected, it's necessary this day in age for a woman to be able to handle all these roles.  We're feminists, people!  We're equals!  We can do it all!  Right, right?

So why in this world, when so many women must handle working and housekeeping and being a parent, is it like *earth-shattering* when a man does the same thing?  How is that fair and equal?  How is that something women have worked for?

Who has ever told Phil how lucky he is to have a wife that comes home from working all day and whips up dinner and changes a diaper?  Nobody.  Honestly, I don't need or want the recognition for working hard to keep our family afloat.  It's my duty and the life I've chosen/been handed.  Phil works just as hard towards the same goal.   It's a constant give and take and then give some more. We feel blessed to have each other as partners in this game of life, and couldn't do it without the other.  

and vice versa

I'm not putting down any of the amazing things my husband does.  He knows how much I love and appreciate him.  He agrees with me that it's shocking when the man of the family isn't doing more to help out the family, and he approves this message :)  Phil is not the problem.  The world view of what's expected for men is the problem. So can we please stop falling over dead when a husband and father is serving his vocation with joy, and just start encouraging all men to do the same?  Women, please learn to expect more!  Men, you can do it!  You can have it all...just like us :)