Getting ready before school:
Xander: Where's my hulk sweatshirt?
Me: I don't know, just wear your jacket instead.
Xander: But the Hulk sweatshirt is the only thing that works.
Petting the cat as she walked by:
Hey Dad, Evie's really soft. But she's not as soft as Mom.
After getting in trouble the previous day in school for repeating a bad word...
Me: Xander, did you have a good day today?
Xander: Welllll, did the teacher email you again?
Xander: Then I had a good day!
And if the Devil doesn't like it
He can sit on a tack!
Xander: Mom, Why is your belly getting sooooo big?
Me: Because the baby is getting bigger.
Xander: No, it's because you are eating sooooo much food and then the baby eats the food in his belly button and then he grows bigger and then your belly grows bigger.
Me: Xander, why did you take your shirt off?
Xander: Because I wanted to see my muscles!
Seeing Declan follow him around and imitate him:
Mom, Declan just loves me so much! That's because we're roommates!
Upon seeing Maggie and I kiss during peace at Mass:
Ummmm, Dad? I think Maggie and Mom just married each other.