Looking in Andrew's backpack...
Phil: Andrew, why do you have two deodorants in your backpack?
Andrew: Because the middle school teachers say we stink.
Phil: But why TWO?
Andrew: I like to put on both to make sure I smell really good!
After reading Green Eggs and Ham for the hundredth time:
Xander: Oh I get it now! I know why he finally likes green eggs and ham.
Xander: Because he ate them on a boat, and the salt from the water got on them, and salt makes eggs taste good!
JP got hurt two days in a row at school, both times by basketballs being thrown at him:
Me: What's going on? Who's throwing basketballs at you? Who should I beat up?
JP: No, Mom, it's just the sixth grade girls trying to get my attention.
JP: Because they all have crushes on me.
Upon seeing some freshly baked cookies:
Xander: Yes, you can have a cookie!
Xander: Yes, you can have a cookie! Now you say that in your voice to me.
Discussing NFP options for the future:
Me: We can try the Marquette Model again...
Phil: That's how we got Brendan.
Me: Well, we can just have a Josephite marriage until we're fifty.
Phil: Sounds fun.
Me: Or we could just get really ugly and find each other repulsive.
Phil: (Quietly singing as he walks away) "We're not gonna make it..."
Driving in the car with the three eldest boys...
JP: (seeing a dead skunk in the road) Eeeeeewwwwww, skunk.
Eamon: (thinking JP had smelled the skunk) It's probably just your pits, JP.
Recalling the time at school when the water got turned off due to a leak:
Xander: And then Mrs. S came to the cafeteria and said the water was back on and the bathrooms were working again, and I said "Woohoo, let's party!" but I should have said "Woohoo, let's POTTY!"
Declan: I Superman!