The Romance Isn't Dead, It Just Looks a Lot Different

On our first Valentine’s Day together, Phil and I danced our first dance on a balcony in Austria, to the song “Amazed” by Lonestar.  

Kinda hard to top that, right?

Yet, on our second Valentine’s Day together, Phil hung a whole bunch of hearts from the ceiling of my bedroom, each with a hand-written reason why he loved me, for me to find upon arrival home from work.  

On our third Valentine's Day together, now being engaged and almost married, we went out for a wonderful date.  You know the kind of dates you can have when you’re young and aren’t worrying about the kids and the babysitter.  It lasted hours, had many different courses of food, and lots of wedding planning conversation.

On our fourth Valentine’s Day, I was 8 months pregnant and Phil cooked me a gourmet dinner at home.  He decorated the table and lit candles and made it as beautiful and special as could be.

Oh we were so in love and wasn’t it obvious?  Anybody seeing Phil’s big romantic gestures could tell how devoted he was to me and just how much he cared.  I always felt like a princess on Valentine’s Day and he was my handsome prince, swooping me off my feet.

Then life happened.  

I honestly can’t remember our fifth through eighteenth Valentine’s Days.  I know for sure we fit in a date, but grand romantic gestures were not part of the equation anymore.  Yet somehow, our love has grown exponentially throughout these years. In the place of those over-the-top outpourings of affection, came small, daily, acts of service and sacrifice.  Phil doesn’t show me how much he cares by cutting hearts to hang from the ceiling anymore. Now his love looks like:

Getting up at night to soothe a child having a bad dream.

Buying chocolate to have in the house for when I am craving a little sweet treat.

Following along on a training plan or diet plan I am trying at the moment.

Taking a photo or video of the kids being cute and texting it to me so I don’t miss anything.

Walking the dog with me every night while we catch up on our day.

Taking the wild two year old with him grocery shopping so I can clean the house in peace.

Grabbing the cookie I like from the platter in the lunch room to save for me later.

Changing diapers 100% of the time he is at home.

Catching him looking at me with a smile and a wink.

Rubbing my feet at night.

Being completely in sync with my monthly cycles.

Telling the kids "Your mom is not the maid!" when they don't pick up after themselves.

Figuring out how to fix a broken microwave on YouTube so we don't have to pay a repairman.

Hearing him sing my praises to somebody else when he doesn’t know I’m listening.

Cleaning the shower and then telling me to take a bath in peace.

Love is in the details, and I am here for it.  While younger Colleen may have thought she was missing out when Phil's huge declarations of love ceased to exist, older Colleen knows so much better that couldn't be further from the truth. Those annual Valentine gestures made me feel like a princess to be sure, but these daily reminders of his love make me feel like a queen, and I am so thankful to be his Valentine for now and always.