What Dinner Looks Like In Our (Big) Family

 Dinner is such an important part of the day, don't you agree?  In our home, the most common questions asked by the kids are "What's for dinner?" and "What time is dinner?"  Phil and I also spend a lot of time talking about what to cook for dinner, what we need for dinner, when to start cooking, how to prep anything the day before, etc.  Dinner is definitely the highlight of the day in our house.  Because it takes up so much of our day to plan, shop for a last-minute ingredient, cook and serve a meal for nine each night, we try to make sure we all enjoy the meal together, and as slowly as possible.  

Growing up in a family of eight, I can remember my mom finally sitting down at the table, only to have the first couple of kids already finish their plates.  She or my dad would remind us that even though the meal could be eaten in a few minutes, a lot more time and love was spent creating it, and we needed to stay together at the table for a while.  I think all moms understand the sentiment.  On holidays, I can hear myself proclaim, "This took me all day to make, so you're going to slowly enjoy it!" 

Well, maybe not *that* slow.

We cook dinner from scratch about 90% of the time.  There are always those crazy nights when you just throw some frozen pizzas in the oven, but they happen less often as long as we plan for the week.  Phil and I menu plan and make a grocery list based on what we have in the house (nothing is more satisfying than using up the last bit of something in a new recipe).  We don't specify days for each meal, though we might plan quicker meals on busier nights.  We just come up with six or seven meals, and sometimes we only make five of them because we have leftovers, or a party, or something else thrown our way.  No big deal.  The goal is to make things easier, not perfect.

When we serve the meal, we lay out nine plates on our kitchen island and make individual plates for everyone.  This has proved the easiest way to divide the food fairly and make sure everyone gets enough protein, carbs, and veggies on their plate.  With seven kids, if we let them serve themselves, one could easily not take veggies and we wouldn't notice.  We obviously give more food to the older kids than to the preschooler, and there's almost always leftovers after we arrange the plates if anyone wants more.  Making individual plates right in the beginning also helps us save food for the big kids who might be at work or sports, which they appreciate!

When it's time to eat, everybody has to wash their hands and sit at the table.  No books allowed!  I don't mind if they read at breakfast or lunch, but dinner is family time.  We all say grace together, and we all wait until everyone is seated to start eating. We all drink water with our meal because I used to give them milk, but the younger kids would fill up on their milk and not finish their dinner.  They can all drink milk before bed.  

More often than not, we play High Low and go around the table, each person stating the best part of their day and the worst part of their day.  The younger set of kids love this game and truthfully I do too because it gives every kid the chance to shine and leads to good discussions.  After dinner is finished, we ALL have after-dinner chores and the kitchen gets cleaned pretty fast, while the little kids get bathed and into pajamas.  We try to say the rosary or the chaplet after that (maybe 4 nights of the week, though we strive for seven) and then the kids ask for dessert.  Dessert is usually some cut up fruit or animal crackers or oreos and a cup of milk.  No dessert if you didn't eat all of your meal.  Sorry, but you can't be hungry for dessert if you were too full to finish dinner.  Moms are smarter than that old attempt!  And for picky eaters?  Well, they get the same meal as everyone else, but I must admit that I cook mostly true and tried family favorites.

The whole process of eating together, cleaning together, and praying together makes us feel very connected as a family.  We are by no means perfect (ask anybody!) but we do love each other, and I want all of my babies to feel that security that comes from a homecooked meal and quality time spent together.