In the past 2 years, upon discovering each month that I was not pregnant, I have been 100% relieved.
We have lots of reasons to postpone the birth of our next child and are using NFP to help achieve this goal. However, being open to life, if another child were to bless our family anytime soon, we would be overjoyed - shocked - but overjoyed.
Considering 3 out of our 4 babies were surprises (not mistakes), and all very close in age, I have never had the opportunity to practice NFP for a long period of time. Usually before I even consider the thought of having another baby, I am already pregnant! And yes, I know how it happens...I just happen to like it ;)
So when I discovered this morning that I was not pregnant, I was surprised to feel only about 90% relieved and 10% saddened at the idea of not having baby #5 in 9 months.
The timing would have been horrible (the baby would be born right at the beginning of tax season), and all our reasons to wait are still valid, but I am becoming more and more ready for the next baby.
God is slowly but surely working on my heart and I am finally starting to listen :)