Worst picture of me ever.
This isn't a how-to-exercise post, or some encouragement to get fit.
This is about all the crazies at the gym.
Like the man with the beard that keeps growing longer and longer and getting more disheveled by the day. I think I saw a bird fly out of it the other day. Beard dude, you work out so so hard at the gym, you run crazy long miles and definitely motivate me to go a little further. But that beard has to go.
You look like the Unabomber and you're scaring all the girls.
To the meatheads. Stop lugging around your gallon bottle of colored protein water like you belong to Koolio's gang.
Try some cardio every once in a while instead of grunting and flexing and standing around claiming to be "between sets". Between sets my bum. I've been running on this treadmill for 45 minutes straight and I've seen you do maybe 15 minutes of exercise. And no, flapping your mouth does not count.
Psssst, pretty young things....the mirrors in the gym are for you to watch your form as you work out, not to check yourself out every time you walk past. Seriously?!?! Go to the bathroom mirror and look at yourself in private, we don't all need to see you check out your booty every 5 minutes. Narcissistic much?
When I walk allllllllll the way to the opposite side of the gym to pick the treadmill away from everyone, it's not an open invitation for you to choose the one right beside me.
Respect my disdain for other humans, please ;)
On the same note, when I pick my spot in class, and you come in and try to squeeze your way into the front row with me, don't be surprised if I sidekick you "by accident".
(Ok, I'm really not that mean, I'll just be kicking you in my head.)
Can someone make a gym where membership is only allowed to non-smokers?
Is there any scent more disgusting than stale cigarette smoke and sweat wafting off the body next to you? Me thinks not. Besides, if you're smoking, why are you even exercising? That's like putting on sunscreen before you get in a tanning booth.
And finally, I'm going to start wearing a t-shirt that says "If you're a personal trainer, don't approach me" because it's a little rude when one of them comes up to me as I'm working out asking if I'd like to be personally trained by them.
Personal Trainer: So you know, we could set up a plan that would really help.
Me: So you're saying I need help?
Personal Trainer: Well, I'm just trying to be nice and share my expertise.
Me: Feel free to share your expertise, just don't ask me to have to pay you for it.
Me: Thanks, anyway.
At least I get free entertainment!