Proving It

I have been really slacking in my prayer life lately.  On the best of days, I get to daily Mass or pray a family Rosary, but on the worst of days (which are far too frequent) it's just morning and bedtime prayers with the kids.  

Our Pastor gave a great homily on New Year's Day that challenged us all to make some spiritual resolutions for the new year.  He said a lot of us make resolutions to eat right and exercise more, but what about our souls? 

Then what really struck a chord with me (the exercise lover) was when he compared muscle confusion in workouts (when you switch up your workout routines to constantly challenge your body to adapt) with spiritual exercises.  He said sometimes we can prefer to pray a certain way, or only make time for Mass, or attend our weekly Adoration hour and sort of fall into a rut.  But if we can add something new and challenge ourselves to grow, we can flex those spiritual muscles until we become a bulky Mother Teresa. (OK, he didn't say "bulky Mother Teresa" but seriously, how strong was she?!?!)

So I decided to try harder, and my first step is to incorporate some spiritual reading into my day.  I picked up this book the other night, and I searched for the passage about fear, because unfortunately, I am still having lots of fear and anxiety about this impending labor.  The words jumped out of the page at me:

My child, in many a trial and trouble, I come to you and ask you to believe in Me.  Put your confidence in Me, and prove that you mean it, by refusing to worry.  If your trials were not good for you, I would remove them at once.  

Do not be frightened.  Why worry about coming events?  Take care of today's problems and leave tomorrow in My hands.  Many of tomorrow's troubles are only in your imagination.

Lastly, remember that nothing can happen without My consent.  Put yourself in My care and fear nothing.

What a challenge this is: Prove that you mean it.  I've never had it put that way.  

How can we say that we love and trust someone, but then check their emails and phone logs and worry and constantly check up on them?  That's not love or trust.  

So why do I do the same with God?  I say "Jesus, I trust in You" and then I worry about everything that might go wrong that I won't be able to handle.  "It's just too much, God!" I yell,  "You know I can't handle this!"  But only He truly knows what I can and can't handle better than me, and He will give me the grace to conquer the challenges when the time comes.

And the only way I can show Him that I actually do trust Him...the only way I can prove that I believe He uses all for good...is to stop worrying about the future and be thankful for today.