Thursday, November 9, 2017

Advice Needed: Vacationing with a Big Family

This is not a post where I tell you how we manage to take our seven kids on a family vacation each year that is affordable, fun for all ages, and relaxing for the parental unit.  Nope.  This is a post that where I seriously consider how to make a family vacation like that happen.

Me, every other day lately.

So here's our deal...my family all lives around us.  Some very close (hello parents who live downstairs!), two sisters 15 minutes away, a sister and a brother an hour away, and one brother who is about 2.5 hours away.  I am so lucky that they are closeby even though life gets busy and we don't see each other as often as we should.

 Phil's parents, and all of his siblings, live far away from us, but within an hour or so of each other (except one sister who is currently living in Texas).  So most of the time, when we have a week off, we end up going down to where Phil's family lives.  It's about an 8 hour drive, our kids get to hang with all their cousins on that side of the family, and we can catch up with family and friends who live nearby.  Our visits to Phil's side of the family have become our "family vacations" because we want to see everyone (and I think they want to see us!) and our kids love going.  

I'm with ya, buddy.


Yet, every once in a while, I dream of having a true family vacation.  You know, one where you plan and save and go somewhere warm when it's cold at home, or somewhere with lots of family activities so everyone is satisfied.  But this just doesn't look like it will be reality for us anytime soon or possibly ever?!?  Activities that I would love to do with the big kids (like skiing) are too difficult for the little kids to keep up with, and anything that makes the little ones happy (like a kiddie pool) are boring for the older kids.  I know Phil and I could split up and do separate trips with different age groups, but then the parents are not having a fun vacation. It's supposed to be a FAMILY vacation.

Forced family fun time :)

 I'm not trying to get pity here, I wouldn't trade my family for the world, but I am trying to get advice.  So what's a good family vacation idea or a specific location for a family with a wide spread of ages (almost age 15 down to 1) that won't break the bank or cause us to get on a plane (we live in the Northeast)?  Does it even exist?  Should I be postponing vacations until the littles are older (but then the bigs will be in college?).  How do big families handle this?  Help a mutha out!  Thanks :)

18 comments:

  1. Why not Washington DC or Philadelphia? Historical and not too far way? Hit Baltimore too? You'd probably need a hotel suite with a kitchen or a rental apt so you could eat in often enough to be affordable. Or North Carolina or Tennessee - do the Appalachian Mountains (which are quite different than the mountains in new England) , stay in a cabin, hike and sight see? In neither scenario would it be too much fun for you (you still need to feed and cloth the kids) but it would be in a different location at least! (Did you see Mary at Better than Eden's vacation trip? They managed it with their family of boys out to California - so it's doable!

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    1. You know, we actually have vacationed in Philly before and we can drive into DC or Baltimore from Phil's parents house. So I guess I need to just start planning vacation activities while we are visiting family instead of feeling like I am only there to visit family. Thanks!

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  2. You went to the indoor water park--Wolf Lodge? Perhaps making that a week-long event and adding in a few museums. For instance, there's one in Fitchburg, MA. Worcester is a short drive and they have the EcoTarrium and a couple of cool climbing rock gyms and trampoline parks. If you planned it out and got groupons you could probably manage for a reasonable price. I also believe Wachusett mountain has snow shoe/cross county ski rentals so the big boys could go run around while the littles just played. Then, for food, do simple sandwiches for lunch and pre-made dinners or easy dinners. (there are sites that list easy/cheap hotel dinners) Like getting one of those pre-made salads and then tossing chicken fingers on top. Easy to do with only a microwave. Or let the kids each pick their own frozen dinner. Cheaper than eating out, and you'll be a hero.

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    1. They would think they had died and gone to heaven if they could each pick out their own frozen dinner, thanks :)

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  3. So, when I read this all I could think was the Wisconsin Dells. Because they take water park to a whole new level where everyone could have fun. Seriously. (And if you went when the weather was nice you could do all the outside stuff too which is fun.) But that would be a long drive. So I am no help at all. But I can't wait to see what you come up with. Maybe rent a house near D.C. and do all the museums/zoo/etc?

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  4. I think it all comes down to your vacationing style (which you may not have nailed down yet since you haven't had a lot of opportunities). My family grouwing up always took vacations with the goal of seeing as MUCH AS POSSIBLE and they were tons of fun but exhausting. My husband, however, wants to go somewhere and sit and rest and relax and sleep as much as possible :-)

    If you're more of a relaxing vacationer, I would suggest a cruise (with tons of age-appropriate activities for all) or renting a vacation home somewhere with a few local attractions. I always highly recommend national parks for this sort of thing.

    If you want to see a lot, perhaps something like Colonial Williamsburg? Kendra from Catholic All Year visited with her kids once and wrote a great review.

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    1. We have done Williamsburg with Phil's parents who had a timeshare there. It was fun, but I think I want a cruise atmosphere but on land. Does that exist? Ha!

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  5. l think you should come up with an amount of money you’d be willing to spend for a place to stay for a vacation and then search HomeAway or VRBO for something in your budget very early in a large radius. And you can even play with how long in order to find a good place and satay in budget, like eta for 4 or 5 nights instead of 7. Renting a cabin or house allows you to cook most of your meals, which you’d need to spend that money anyway at home! We’ve ended up in a bungalow in the outer banks, a farmhouse in the Shenandoah and another time in Amish country.. It’s always been about finding the right fit… The farmhouse was kind of in the middle of nowhere and really beautiful but it had a pool… And was super restful for our family… this summer I happen to find a very non-fancy Bungalo near the beach and we only eat out once and so It didn’t feel like we are spending a ton of extra money going on vacation. Good luck!

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  6. Growing up there were only 4 of us kids, but my parents (and I) have had awesome luck with affordable rates on full-sized houses on VRBO.com. We live in Nebraska so most of our vacations were driving to Colorado (within an 8-10 hour driving range), renting a cabin for a week, and doing free activities like hiking exploring state parks etc. Renting a place where you can cook is what my mom still swears on vacation plus hotels are way too expensive!

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  7. I was going to say Charleston, until you mentioned the no planes thing. ;) But seriously, growing up and now that I have my own kids, we love beach vacations. We rent a house with a few other families, so split the cost, and between fishing, surfing, digging in sand, frolicking in the waves, sitting in a chair and reading, playing beach games, taking the babies for long walks to get them to sleep, etc, all ages (from 55 down to the 1 year old) are content doing something they enjoy!

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  8. For kicks, you and Phil must first google and read: Vacation or Trip? A Helpful Guide for Parents (on Huffington Post). It's a couple of years old and you may have already seen it.

    Our "Vacation" was a cruise. No work for mama. Activities for all ages. Adjoining cabins (with balconies even!). No bed making. No cooking. Waited on hand and foot. **We cruised in September when the rates plummeted and the boat was far less crowded. We didn't do many excursions. Instead we took advantage of the empty boat to do all the water slides, rope courses, etc.

    Our latest "trip" was a beach trip where we rented a condo. Shopped on the island and ate most of our meals indoors. (But made easy meals.). Had two dinners out. There was a pool, beach, close walking vicinity to town. The condo was owned by a client of my husbands.

    In the past, we successfully used VRBO for condos.

    Budget will define what you do.

    Have fun!

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    1. That article is hilarious and so true!

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  9. Oh, I wonder if I should do a post on this...I have a lot to say and have learned a lot! For me, a lot of it comes down to accepting that it's going to be beyond what I think it should cost (I still think in 1990's prices, ha) but making peace with the fact that it is that valuable for our family. Also, having a husband who is super good at planning travel :) We were really intentional with this last trip about having a mix of actual relaxing and fun stuff to do/sightsee. We're willing to do planes. My husband uses a Southwest card for all his office's purchases and gets awesome points from that so a lot of our plane costs are totally paid for! I'd rather fly any day than take a long road trip with kids. But for driving...maybe Virginia Beach or the Outer Banks? I don't think it's that super amazing but know a lot of people go to the Outer Banks because it's ocean and they have lots of big vacation homes that aren't crazy expensive. I'd definitely recommend renting a house through VRBO or AirBnB. Hotels are NOT relaxing or cheap with a big family and with a house, you cut way down on grocery bills. We only ate out once our entire 10 days (at Chik Fil A) and the rest of the time we made our meals or picnicked. So our food costs were only about $100-150 more than our normal grocery bills. So that savings alone versus eating out is worth the cost right there for a house rather than hotel. And a house is about a million times better than a hotel. You can't really go wrong with a beach vacation for all ages. There's something for everyone to do. We try to go places just outside their high season and that makes a big difference but I know that's a luxury of homeschooling. I'd start with doing a home rental search along the coast and seeing what's out there and within your driving limit :)

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    1. Part of our problem is that we can only go when there's no school - which is when everybody else in the world can go on vacation too! You are lucky there!

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  10. I have to agree with the majority of other posters here. I’m from a small family, but loved our vacations where we rented houses/cabins/condos/etc. Most of the places we vacationed and did this was throughout Europe, but I remember one we rented on the Jersey Shore, which was during the off-season, so much cheaper and still offered activites in the town. We used the houses as our base and would take short drives out to the surrounding areas we wanted to see. Much cheaper, more comfortable, and more memories.

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  11. Do y’all Camp? Is that not at all relaxing sounding? That was the only way we had vacations growing up in a big family! We camped at beaches, in the mountains, in spring summer and fall. It made some of the best memories and once you get some good gear (ask for it for Christmas from grandparents and family!) - it’s so cheap!

    The other thing is - my family took us to Catholic Familyland growing up LOL. It’s near your alma mater! But for real - it’s the best big family retreat slash vacation, and contrary to some impressions, it’s not at all like the Legionaires in that the apostolate ministry takes a major backseat to just getting your family to have fun, make new friends, and pray together.

    I think total, for a big family, it doesn’t top $2000 (if that!) and that includes a meal plan and your cabin,”.

    There’s horseback riding, water slides, pools, beach volleyball and soccer tournaments - sprinkled with Family rosaries, daily mass, the caplet at 3 pm everyday, outdoor confessions .. and it’s some of the best memories of my childhood too. And I️ made lifelong friends that way!

    I’m not a member of the Apostolate that runs it, but Jason and I would totally go back when we have the money to go on a legit family vacay!!

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    1. No camping for me! But Catholic Familyland is a little appealing because my brother-in-law's family goes there every year with their 8 kids, so I know my kids would love to be with cousins all week.

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  12. I’m not for camping either but visiting national parks can be a fun family trip. Every Kid in a Park allows fourth graders to get a free family pass to the national parks for one year. My family lives in Florida and often stays at places near a national or state park for vacations. The Simple Dollar website also has good tips on budget friendly travel (though not specifically geared to large families). - Meg

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