Showing posts sorted by relevance for query love language. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query love language. Sort by date Show all posts

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Languages of Love

Have you all heard of the 5 Love Languages?  They were "discovered" by a marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman . 

(The following is quoted from his website)

After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.
Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five love languages proved to be universal and comprehensive: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

You can take the quiz here to find out what language you speak.

Personally, I show my love through Gift Giving, and I prefer to receive my love through Acts of Service.  This is great because Phil definitely shows his love through Acts of Service, but I'm not sure how he prefers to receive love.  I don't think it is through Gift Receiving...I think it might be Physical Touch.  I better work on that, because I think it's so important to be able to love people in the way they feel most loved.

What Love Language do you "speak" and which language to you want to "hear"?

Friday, March 12, 2021

7QT: Giving Individual Attention to Kids in a Big Family

 Happy Friday!  Phil and I talk often about how we can give our kids individual time and speak to them in their love languages and I thought I would try to compile what's worked well so far in this parenting gig.

 1)

Dates

Once our oldest child was able to babysit, we started taking the kids on one-on-one (sometimes two kids at once) dates.  These don't happen often, maybe once or twice a year per kid, but we try to make a thoughtful choice in what to do with them.  It usually involves eating out or going to an event (ice skating, movie, bowling) and making them feel special.  I know their favorite foods and pick restaurants that serve them or stop by the store for their favorite snacks.  JP’s love language is “buy me the spiciest chips you can find and some fried chicken.  Or better yet, just get me some spicy fried chicken”.

Friday, May 22, 2026

Week in Review: 24 Years, Declan's Nerves, Maggie's Awards and Dinners for Nine

Hello and Happy Friday!

Phil and I celebrated our 24th anniversary on Sunday, and I wish that I had the time to write a beautiful post about marriage and how easy he's made it to be with him longer than I've been without him...but instead I'll just say that I love my best friend/baby daddy/partner for life so much and I'm grateful to God for putting us together!  

We celebrated in bits and pieces over the weekend, because May anniversaries only add to the normal May chaos.  May I suggest y'all get married in a less busy month?  On Saturday, we drove out to Plymouth for lunch and I think Phil's face says it all when we revisited Plymouth Rock.  Plymouth Pebble is more like it.



That night, our friend Fr. Cook was filling in at our parish for the vigil Mass, and we invited him out to dinner (and ice cream, of course) with us and the kids who weren't working.  Phil and Fr. Cook shared the Fajitas for Two as if it was their anniversary:

On Sunday, we started out the day by working out, because the couple that works out together...works out together or something.


We took our annual Cottage photo on Sunday morning.  Season 4 on Anniversary 24:


Then we drove to beautiful Bristol, RI to have lunch at The Beach House.  It was a gorgeous view but very hot in the sun.  Our weather went from winter to summer it seems!


The heat was great for business at The Cottage though!  Lines all weekend long!


Friday, October 14, 2016

7QT: 12, 8, 36

Hello and TGIF!  Why I can't seem to blog unless Kelly has a linkup, I'll never know.  Blogging FOMO I guess!

1)

Andrew turned TWELVE!  My second baby will be a teenager next year.  Excuse me while I mop the puddle of myself up off the floor.


Ok, I'm back, but still weepy, because look at this cutie patootie!  Can I just freeze him and his handsome little face?  Please?


Andrew wanted a Fitbit for his birthday, but I looked at the prices and didn't think a 12 year old who plays three different sports (and would constantly have to take it off for each game) would be able to keep it in his possession.  So the much more affordable Garman Vivofit it was!  He was thrilled!  In fact, Eamon used his birthday money to buy one for himself and they compete with each other every day to see who gets the most steps.  They totally put shame in my step game, no wonder they're so thin!


On his birthday, after track practice and soccer practice, we celebrated with ice cream sundaes and some cousins.  Andrew loves to be celebrated (unlike some of my other shyer kids) and we had already had a birthday cake for him a few days before at Brendan's Baptism party (because that's where all the people were) hence the easy sundae choice :)



Being the sports nut that he is, all his gifts were sports related...


He got "slides" which Phil and I remember being big when we were in high school, but we called them "sandals".  My my, how times change.


He also got an Under Armour sports bag.  He loves it so much that he doesn't want to use it and get it dirty.  Ha!


And of course, a Dude Perfect shirt because obsessed is his current state.  He's also getting this book once it's released.


We love you Andrew with the funny middle name!

2)  My babiest of babies is 8 weeks old today!  He enjoys nursing, pooping, burping, sleeping, and keeping his parents up at night.  Hey when you've got 6 siblings, when else are you gonna get some quality parent time?



His smiles are a nice addition to his otherwise stunned or crying faces.  It was touch and go there for a while, but we decided we'll keep him ;)



3)

Phil turned 36 this week!  We went out to dinner at a local bar and took BB with us, cause he loves to get tipsy on milksy.  I always feel like Phil gets the lamest birthdays because it's the third birthday in our family within two weeks.  And we added a Baptism in that time period this year! I did bake him a lemon cake and gave him one gift, and he got one from his parents too.   Thank goodness being showered in gifts is not this guy's receptive love language!!  Can you guess which love language he prefers?

He's holding his Thanksgiving gift ;)

The kids did make him cards!


4)

My friend sent me this as a possible Halloween costume this year.  So easy and clever!



5)

Phil's sister who is a Sister came to visit us all the way from Texas.  She got to meet her newest nephew and spend time with her goddaughter, whom she lavished in jewelry :)


Declan decided to streak in honor of her visit, just to make her feel more at home.

6)

2005 with only two kids!

We have totally skipped apple picking this year, which makes it the first time ever that I can remember since having kids.  What a sin to live in beautiful New England and not go apple picking.  Maybe there will be some pumpkins left somewhere this weekend if we can find time to squeeze it in amongst the 6 soccer games, two variety show rehearsals, and a funeral!  Eeek!

7)

Fabletics leggings and Saucony shoes - love both!

Let's talk baby weight.  Not Brendan's weight, but the weight he left behind.  Due to the gestational diabetes, I was dieting for his pregnancy and only gained 14 pounds total.  A week after he was born, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight (not my goal weight, but what I weighed when I got pregnant).  However, as soon as he was born, I started eating all the carbs and sugars I had been restricting, and now have gained weight.  This needs to go.  It's not really baby weight, it's just weight, and I'm not making healthy choices.  Plus, I would like to be able to wear my clothes again.  I have a physical coming up in less than a month, and I would like to have lost at least 5 pounds by then.  I've been running again during kids' soccer practices which feels so good, and I've started eating healthier (modified THM diet) and not devouring chocolate and chips at night.  

New evening activity: Running not eating :)


If anyone has any tips on trying to lose weight without affecting milk supply, I would love to hear them!


Have a happy Soccer Playing, Pumpkin Picking, Football Watching kind of weekend everybody!

Friday, May 17, 2024

Week in Review: Happy Anniversary and Advice Needed

Happy Friday y'all!  Today is our 22nd Anniversary!


Who lets babies get married?  Look at how young and naive we were.  As much as we were in love back then, it's amazing how deep love can grow over the years, especially when you both are working so hard to provide for and raise a family.  They say marriage isn't easy, but it sure seems easy with you, Phil.  Love you forever.

My $99 David's Bridal dress

When I was looking through our wedding album last night with the littles, I found a copy of our program I had tucked away in there.  I remember writing the story of the white rose, but I do not remember picking the poem below, though it is sweet:


Tuesday, August 20, 2024

Eight is Great and Our Baby is Growing Up

Our caboose is eight years old!  


Brendan may be little, but he has an old soul and always seems a bit older than his age to me.  He is very aware, whip smart, and can be a tiny tyrant at times.  Like most babies of the family I suppose ;)  He has a lot of big siblings to keep up with and learn from, and it definitely shows.  His love language is still physical touch and I hope he never stops giving out hugs, especially when he sits in between Phil and I and puts his little hands behind our backs.  He's empathetic and the first to ask how somebody is feeling, or if something hurts.  Brendan has the cutest little embarrassed smile when you praise him, and loves learning new things.  One of his birthday gifts was that he could start taking piano lessons, and he was thrilled!  He's been trying to teach himself and seems to have a knack for it, so I think he will pick it up really quick.  He is a HUGE reader (currently reading The Land of Stories series) and hoping to make it on the fall swim team this year.  He's the second youngest kid in his class but more than ready to start 3rd grade.  The kids think he's my current favorite child, and they might just be right. Kidding, kidding, but he is hard not to love!

First piano lesson with Xander on the left and the teacher on the right.

Last day being seven, at the beach with big waves in Newport, RI.

Waking up on his 8th birthday, reminding us all in case we've missed his daily countdown.

Phil took the birthday boy and some siblings to Supercharged Entertainment in Wrentham, MA to play on his actual birthday.  They had tons of fun!




For dinner Brendan chose chinese food and for dessert - The Ice Cream Cottage!  See why I love him so much?  No cooking!


He got lots of cool gifts such as boxer briefs (he wanted to be like the big boys), a digital camera, reusable water balloons, a watch, a book, a kite, a puppy night light (to read by), and a new water bottle.






Happy 8th birthday, Brendan Joseph.  We all love you so much!  

I hope you get to be a dermatologist or an architect one day but more importantly I hope you get to Heaven and when I watch you pray the rosary or serve Mass, I know you are well on your way.  You always tell me I'm the "second best mom" after Mary, of course and you love Jesus and the saints, aspiring to be another St. Brendan in heaven.  You are a good and loyal friend, a bright student, and my brain when I can't remember something.  You love adventures and games and bring home shells and sticks and flowers as gifts.  You are an absolute delight even when you're sassy and we thank God for you every day.

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

Suddenly Seven

The seventh baby turned seven this past weekend!


We woke up at Camelback Resort and spent a few hours at the waterpark before driving home.


Brendan still has one top front tooth that looks raggedy-andy and he hoped it would fall out on his last day of being 6, because it will be the 6th tooth he loses.  When that didn't happen, he hoped it would fall out on his birthday, but no such luck.  So now he's hoping for it to come out before school starts!  And let me tell ya, we have tried to pull it out for days (I love pulling teeth) and that thing is stubborn!

We arrived home late on his birthday, after attending a very strange Mass in Hartford, CT (!!) and celebrated his birthday the next day...which really means you get two whole days of being celebrated :)

Friday, March 14, 2014

7QT Friday, Family Updates

I'm feeling a little lot boring today, and also incredibly tired.  This baby is due a week from Sunday and if you could spare a prayer for the sleep fairy to sprinkle me hard before I go into labor, I would be so appreciative.  I think today I will do an update on the seven family members that currently breathe oxygen, since I'm hoping and crossing fingers that by next Friday there will be eight of us on the outside.


Let's do this youngest to oldest...

1)

Alexander the Great


This 2.5 year old is so funny and cute.  Annnnnd so loud and challenging.  That pretty much sums up any toddler, right?  (Toddlers are still my favorite age group!)  He loves to shoot hoops and wrestle with his brothers, have Maggie read him books, and torment the cat.  Everyday when we come home, he asks "Can we play outside for just a wittle bit?" and every morning he asks "Where we going today? and "Who's coming over?  Who?  Who?""  He has to be included in the day's plans.  For a long time he thought he had a baby in his belly like me, but just the other day I asked him what was in there and he said "Nuffin."  He describes his day for us by saying things like "Eva, in my class, threw the football at the cat today, and Ba, my teacher, put her in timeout", which cracks us up because he's not in school.  He also has a penchant for talking for a minute straight and then at the end saying "and that's a story."  It certainly is, my wee one.  Speaking of wee, potty training is coming along fine, but he only remembers to go #1 if he's walking around the house "maked".  He does tell us that he has to do #2 on the potty, which is awesome, so we have not had to change poopy diapers in a while. Just in time for the newborn to take over that job.

2)

Maggie Rose


This 6 year old Kindergartner is just the sugar and spice this household needs.  Sometimes the spice is a little more red pepper flakes than cinnamon, but her pretty face helps it go down a little easier.  She has taken after her oldest brother's love of books and is devouring all the Magic Treehouse and Junie B. Jones books she can get her hands on.  She loves to inform me of what page she's on every five minutes, and eats up my praise like her favorite dessert.  She has plenty of girlfriends at school and is definitely taking an interest in fashion.  She also has her main boyfriend Robby, but Robby goes to a different school, so her school boyfriend is Jack.  She's a sailor, with a boy in every port :)  She still hates having anything "fancy" done with her hair and can cry a river at the drop of a hat.  Phil has started to ask her if she needs to go to the hospital every time she cries like she's dying, to which she replies "No, why do you always have to ask me that?  I'm just crying a little!"  She is very affectionate and loves lots of hugs and kisses, and still wishes she was little enough to get picked up on the regular.  But little, she is not!  She's heading for supermodel status with her height, and wears size 7/8 clothes.  We are totally doomed when she becomes a teenager.  Off to the convent she will go ;)

3)

Eamon the Meatball

(That's him in the orange shorts getting a basket.)

This 7 year old first grader is such a fun personality.  He is equal parts shy and the life of the party.  He loves to know we are watching him, but as soon as we praise him, he gets embarrassed.  He is the runt of my litter, but so competitive in sports that he makes up for his petite stature.  He scored 6 points in his last basketball game, and is seriously fast and always practicing some sport with Andrew.  He much prefers being active to reading, and when he does pick up a book to read it's usually Calvin and Hobbes or some kind of book filled with interesting facts (World Almanacs, Guinness Book of World Records, etc.)  He is best buddies with his cousin Tommy who is in the same class at school, and can't wait to be an altar server like his big brothers.  He pretty much always has a twinkle in his eye and loves to sit as close to us as possible without seeming like his love language is touch (it most definitely is).  As long as you don't try to feed him food he doesn't like (he's our pickiest and sloooooowest eater) he's a happy camper.  He still wants to be a Priest when he grows up, and maybe one day a Bishop, "like Bishop Eamon Martin in Ireland."

4)

Drew Baby


Andrew is  9 years old, in 3rd grade, with an old soul kind of personality.  He has a great moral compass, is a natural leader, is likable to all, very athletic and very smart.  Some people get ALL the things.  But, like every good superhero, he has a weakness...his Irish temper.  Oh boy, look out for that ugly beast that comes out every so often.  He would much rather be doing anything besides sitting still and reading.  Every weekend, while the Mama and baby nap, the older kids have quiet time when they can read or do a puzzle.  Andrew will inevitably ask if there's any chores he can do because vacuuming down the stairways is much more fun than reading a good book.  I don't get it either.  He is a bit of a perfectionist and worries about getting places on time.  Last weekend, he was an altar server for the TV Mass they were filming, and he fretted for days that he would do something wrong (he didn't).  One of his best friends is a girl named Abby, and for the Mardi Gras celebration at school, they were King and Queen of their class - a foreshadowing, methinks.  I asked him why he got to be picked King again (5 years in a row!) and he said he doesn't know why, but he just keeps getting the cupcake with the baby in it.  Andrew also loves to hug and cuddle up right beside us on the couch, another kid who's love language is touch.  

5)

John-Paul III


J-P is 11 and in 5th grade, and definitely an oldest child.  He loves to be the leader in the house, and is always letting us know about everything he learns about, even when it's sometimes not very accurate reporting.  He is sweet and sensitive and smart and artistic and prefers reading books over watching sports (Phil just doesn't get it, I totally do).  He seems so innocent and naive still, which we are so thankful for, and definitely tries hard to please us with his grades.  The other day, he was talking to an Aunt on the phone, and he asked her how the weather was, and what she was up to, and Phil and I were floored listening to him actually initiating conversations with an adult on the phone.  What a long way he's come!  He used to be so shy and insecure, now he is really blooming into a young man.  A few months ago, he was altar serving, and a woman had received the Eucharist in her hands, but didn't consume it by the time she had turned to walk back to her pew.  J-P followed her, and kindly told her to please consume the Body of Christ.  After Mass, I told him how proud I was of him, and he said "Thanks, it was my first time pulling someone over." : )  He is so caring to other's needs, and prays every morning in the car for a baby sister for Maggie.  We love reading his writing assignments from school, because he is a great and funny writer, and although he wants to be a CIA agent when he grows up, I think writing might be in his future.  Maybe he can take over this blog when I retire.

6)

Mr. Martin


Oh how I love this man o'mine.  Saint Philip.  He has been so busy lately, between teaching, finishing his second Master's (his internship should be done in April!), coaching track club at the kid's school, helping lead a young adult group at our parish, and then all the family schtuff.  Yet he still makes sure I have time to rest when he's home and does the laundry, cooks dinner, cleans...he's amazing.  On Tuesday, I thought (wrongly) that contractions were starting (I was just dehydrated), and the excited look on his face was priceless.  He loves our babies so much!  Who wouldn't want to have six kids with a husband like this??  I thank God for him every day because marrying him was the easiest and best decision of my life.  I am so blessed.

7)

Moi + Baby Martini


(That photo is for you, Micaela, which proves how much I like you because seriously.)

What can I say that I haven't already bored you all with already?  I'm still working full-time until this baby comes out (so come out baby!), still trying to walk 5 days a week (more like a slow waddle), and trying not to freak out that labor is really really close.  Just focus on the baby, focus on the baby, focus on the baby.  

Have a wonderful Pi Day (3/14) and weekend everybody!