Managing Mom Guilt - Big Family Activities

 Declan started practices for his spring soccer league that was sold to us as a "close travel" league. But then I got the schedule (after paying $180 for registration and $200 for uniforms), and his first game is on Nantucket. Yes, the island. As in, a one-hour drive to the ferry in Hyannis, followed by a 2-hour ferry ride to Nantucket, all for a one-hour soccer game—and then travel the whole thing backwards.

Yeah, no thanks. Declan will be skipping that first game. Luckily, the rest of the games are less than an hour away, but I’m reminded why we didn’t do travel sports for our kids until now—and only because there’s just one child who wanted to partake. Imagine trying to manage travel teams back in the day when five of them played soccer at once? Impossible.

Which brings me to one of the hardest parts about being a mom to lots of kids: trying to give the same opportunities and experiences to each child.

Now, I don’t want this to be confused with giving each child “love and attention,” which is often the reason given to not have more than a couple of kids. The secret that the world doesn’t realize is that giving children more siblings naturally gives them more love and attention. There are literally more people in the family who interact with them, care for them, play with them, and have their backs. Parents aren’t the only source of love and attention (or entertainment, for that matter), and I dare say that children from healthy, big families get plenty of support and feel loved by many—which might not always be the case in smaller families.

But while love is infinite, financial resources and hours in the day are not. And that’s where having lots of kids in activities can get tricky. Much to my husband’s dismay, my brain tends to keep track of the opportunities we gave the older kids, and I feel the need to give the younger kids the same. They don’t have to choose the exact same sports or instruments or activities, but I want them to have access to everything, and not be held back or discouraged just because we’re busier now, paying for college tuitions, or, let’s be honest, just plain older and more tired now!

Week in Review: A Getaway, Retreat Weekend, and We Bought the Cottage!

Happy Last Friday in March!  This month typically feels really long and boring to me, but it seems to have flown by this year.  I want to shoutout a very Happy Birthday to Haley (today) and my Mum (Wednesday) - love you both so much!

I made my mom a Lemon Meringue Cake

Phil made Haley her favorite cookies

Last Friday, Phil and I headed up to New Hampshire for a weekend getaway with friends.  I don't think we've ever done something like this but we figured that JP was home to be in charge, and he won't be living with us after July so we might as well take advantage :)  It was a fun time without many pictures, except for a walk we took in the mountains one morning:

A trip to Zeb's for some chocolates in North Conway:

And an 80s band playing at the mountain restaurant (see those skiers through the window?):

JP sent some pics so we knew everybody was ok:

Brendan taking a prayer break

Pizza for dinner is always a winner

Week in Review: Gaelic and Garlic, Food and Kids

Happy Friday!  It's Spring even if it doesn't quite feel like it yet here (does it where you live?)  Let's look back at this week, shall we?

On Saturday, after arriving home from the hospital, we made Eamon's requested dinner of fettuccine alfredo (and chicken) because his half marathon race was the next day and he wanted to carboload like his running inspiration:

"I ate more fettuccine alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life"

~ Michael Scott 

Eye Exams and an ER Experience

This past weekend was...eventful.  On Friday after work/school, Maggie and I had eye appointments.  I am the only one in the family who wears glasses/contacts but Maggie said she was having some trouble seeing while driving at night.  The nice and very talkative doctor listened to her and assured her that everyone has trouble seeing at night (unless they are an owl) and pity-prescribed her a very low prescription for glasses.  We ordered a pair from Firmoo.com (use code Colleen447) for less than $30 total and we will see if they help her while driving.

Maggie snuck this picture of my eye exam, all was good.

On Saturday morning, Phil, Maggie, and I went to a workout class at the gym.  It's the hardest class they offer, and is set up in stations around a track where you do a different move for 45 seconds before moving to the next station (think flipping a huge tire, battle ropes, mini hurdles, etc.)  The instructor is a beast and pushes us to our limits with lots of running and weight moves of arms, legs, and abs in-between the track circuits.  

Anyhoo, when we got home, Phil was feeling like he couldn't quite catch his breath still, even though Maggie and I were fine (exhausted but breathing fine).  I had him test his oxygen (thanks Mom for insisting we get one for home during the pandemic) but his fingers were so cold that it wouldn't register (also weird for him).  Everyone else tested their levels and we were all in the high 90s, but after Phil warmed up in the shower, he was testing at only 86.  

If you remember from three years ago, Phil had three blood clots in his right calf.  Last Monday, he had said he felt similar pain in his left calf that he had felt three years ago, but it went away after a few hours.  Putting everything together in my brain, I told him we needed to go to the hospital to get a scan for clots.  I was wishing that JP (an ER Tech) was home to ask his opinion, but he was in Ohio visiting friends.  Andrew was home for Spring Break and even being the barely-nursing-student that he is, he seconded the motion and off we went.

We drove a little farther to the hospital where JP works, as it is a quieter hospital than the one near our house, and it was worth it as we were the only ones in the waiting room.

* Funny Story Time *

The woman who was checking Phil in and getting his vitals saw that he was wearing an Ice Cream Cottage sweatshirt.  

Lady: "The Ice Cream Cottage?  Oh I hate you guys!  You are taking away my JP from working here when you open!"

Phil: "Oh yes, sorry, but we need him to work while our other workers are still in school."

Lady: "We just love JP so much, he is the best and such a hard worker.  He told me he makes more money working for you and I understand, but we don't want him to go!"  

A few minutes later, she asks "So how did you get to know JP?"

Phil (confused, as he thought it was clear):  "I'm his dad.  We are his parents."

Lady: "WHAT?!?!?!  How old are you??  You are too young to have a son JP's age!!"

She just thought Phil worked with him at The Cottage, oh man it was so funny.

They moved Phil to the next room to get an EKG (totally normal) and the guy doing that also said how he loved working with JP.  Then we were put in a room, and the nurse, upon finding out that we were JP's parents, sang his praises as well.  "He's the absolute best Tech we have here.  We never have to ask him to do something, he just knows what needs to be done and he never stops.  Such a hard worker!"

To be honest, Phil and I kept staring at each other with befuddled looks because as much as we love JP, we do not see this hard-working side of him at home.  It's like pulling teeth to get him to help out with dishes or laundry typically, he loves to sleep in to noon if he has a day off, and all through school I had to be on his case to study.  

Even JP agrees :)

So what I'm saying is there's hope, parents!  I guess once they find their passion and/or work for others, they are impressive!

Back to the hospital stay, we settled in and they did blood work and a chest Xray on Phil.  Phil's oxygen level was fine the whole time we were there, and he felt stupid for coming, but I reminded him that it would be good news if nothing was found.  

Then they did a chest CT scan with dye and four hours after arriving, we got the diagnosis of... a small clot in his lungs.  He also had a couple blood tests with elevated levels, and the PA wanted to admit him for observation overnight.  We talked about it and decided with the prescription of Eliquis and a promise to follow up on Monday, we would go home.

We missed our king sized bed

Phil went to his primary doctor yesterday, and is getting repeat blood work and an ultrasound of his leg done on Thursday.  Phil is only 44, works out regularly, eats pretty healthy, doesn't smoke, and doesn't have any reason for the clots (they tested him to see if it was genetic after the first clots).  Prayers appreciated that we can figure everything out and that his blood decides never to clot again, m'kay blood?  

P.S. Happy St. Joseph's Day!

Maggie's Mission Trip Memories

By Maggie Martin, age 17

This February break, I traveled to San Juan, Texas to go on a mission trip with two of my friends. I hope to go on a mission trip to Africa someday, so this trip was the perfect first experience to get a feel of what these missions are like. Going into it, I wasn’t expecting much. I knew that we would be helping poor families near the Texas/Mexico border, but I didn't know much else. However I can now say that this trip was the best thing I have ever done, and my eyes were opened in so many ways. 

We were set to take off on Sunday, February 16th, and I had all my bags packed Saturday night. I went to the send off Mass, excited about the next day, only to be told that our flights had been cancelled due to snow. Big bummer. We were devastated, and didn’t know if the flights could be rebooked. Thankfully, our chaperones were able to book us new flights (yay!!) for Wednesday, and our trip was extended to Monday, the 24th. 

We made it to Houston on Wednesday afternoon, and ran through the airport to make our connecting flight that was heading to McAllen, only to find out that it had been delayed (so you’re telling me we sprinted across the airport for nothing). We had seen a plane on the runway engulfed in flames, and joked that it was the plane we were supposed to board. The next two and a half hours were spent sitting around the airport, going on walks, and doing whatever we could to entertain ourselves. By the time we boarded our flight, it was almost 11pm, and we were exhausted from a long day of travel. We landed in McAllen around 12am, and made it to the Basilica hotel in San Juan by 1am. We quickly went to our rooms to get settled in and get some much needed rest.

Here's a rundown of what we did each day:

Thursday 2/20

• Morning mass and a tour of the beautiful Basilica, followed by breakfast and morning chores

• Walmart run to get snacks and necessary items for the week

• Headed out to Mission, Texas where we toured the community center run by a few religious sisters. It was a small building with a few classrooms for the children of poor families in the community.

• We all went to one of the sites that we were working on, and spent the afternoon cleaning that yard. This house was a family with 3 children, living in a small and rundown house. The yard was in really bad condition: trash was everywhere, chickens and dogs were running around, and there was a humongous pile in the back of ashes and scraps where several puppies searched for food.

• Worked for about 5 hours removing all junk and doing yard work, then headed back to the hotel to get cleaned up for dinner. Dinner was at a local Mexican restaurant, which was tons of fun!

• We had opening ceremonies back at the basilica, where we talked about our experiences that day, and the things we saw. We received journals that we could use throughout the week, and I made good use of mine, taking time to journal each night so I wouldn’t forget anything that happened. Going to sleep that night was again very easy as we were exhausted and still feeling some jetlag.

Week in Review: Spring Weather, Pay the Groomers, and Naked Day Laughs

Happy Friday!  This week the weather has been so lovely, with temps getting up to fifties which is play-outside-in-shorts-and-tshirts weather if you're a New Englander.  We've all been playing outside more and going for even longer walks, it's delightful.

There's been lots of pickleball:

Andrew + JP (+ Maggie taking photo)

Golfing after school:

Cousin Tommy + Andrew (+ Eamon taking photo)

Six hour off-season volleyball tournaments for the girl: