Thursday, May 26, 2011

Child Abuse?


He, she or it? Family keeps baby's gender a secret

The first question people ask after hearing of a new arrival is usually, “Boy or girl?”
Friends and family of one Canadian couple are getting no answer to this simple inquiry. Kathy Witterick and her husband David Stocker have decided to keep baby Storm's gender a secret.

Steve Russell / TORONTO STAR
Boy or girl? They're not telling. Baby Storm, in red, gets a cuddle from brother Jazz.

(Did you catch that?  That's a BOY giving the baby a kiss)

“We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place?),” the couple wrote in an email to friends and family after Storm’s birth, according to the Toronto Star.

Other than Storm’s parents, the only other people to know Storm’s gender are the couple’s two sons, Jazz, 5, and Kio, 2, the midwives who delivered the baby and a close family friend. They got the idea to raise a genderless child from a book they found in the library, and told the paper the secrecy is about giving their children freedom.

“What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It’s obnoxious,” Stocker told the paper. He and his wife allow Jazz and Kio to choose their clothing from both the boys' and girls' departments – including pink dresses - and how they want to wear their hair.

Although many parents rebel against traditional pink and blue clothing for their babies, and give dolls to their boys and trucks to their girls, Storm’s parents’ decision seems to have touched a nerve, sparking discussion on news outlets and blogs around the world. Comments on the original story accuse the parents of being “irresponsible,” confusing their children, and setting up Storm for “future damage.”

“Reading the story I thought about Storm’s brothers,” writes Lisa Belkin in the New York Times blog Motherlode. “What message is being sent to them, telling them that their sibling’s sex is an unspillable secret. Doesn’t that in itself give gender the all-defining importance that these parents are trying to avoid?”

What do you think of this couple’s decision to keep Storm’s gender a secret?


  1. they should make the baby wear glasses and shave their head too, then. Let them decide what their eye and hair color are too. Their body obviously has no idea what it's doing, giving them a penis or vagina- why trust it to give hair or eye color? What if the child doesn't WANT to be blond?!?

    *eye roll* those kids are going to need some serious counseling (and prayers!!)

  2. I feel sorry for those children. They are going to be so confused. God created male and female for a reason (procreation) and it's important for us to embrace and accept our genders. That is they way life goes on.

    As a mom of 4 children my son is very different from my daughters and it's healthy and beautiful the way God intended it to be. I teach my daughters that it's special to be a female we have a special role to mother and raise children. In return my husband teaches our son by example how important it is to protect, provide, and love your family.

    This crazy form of teaching them that you choose what gender you want is a direct attack on the family structure.

    I will be praying for these children. Thank you for the post!

  3. i was going to post about this too. How disgusting!

    somehow i just don't believe these parents (and others like them)that say their sons like to wear pink earrings, long hair and dresses. That has to be a suggestion upon the mother (or father). I have never said to my own sons, oh you can't wear dresses--they just never ever ever would want to! They would barf if I suggested such a thing. they have never liked pink or girl colors and never wanted earrings or long hair. They just know or gravitate toward boy things. Its inborn to act boyish or girlish.

    yes i do think its child abuse. I think the parents are insane.

  4. AnonymousMay 26, 2011

    I feel bad for those kids. I'm glad their parent's love them so much, but the parent's are complete idiots. Hopefully the kiddos will learn better from other family role models.

  5. It is our job as parents to protect, nurture, and grow our children, which INCLUDES making decisions for them because, HELLO, they're not old enough or experienced enough to do so on their own. Not only do I think the secrecy is irresponsible and confusing to the children, but I do think that it will cause irreperable damage. It's just sad.

  6. Wrong, weird and misguided on so many levels.

  7. I always think it's fun to do weird social and cultural experiments on my children, don't you? They are so gullible, innocent and trusting, why not take advantage of them? And then make sure it makes the paper so I get lots of attention. :)
    Why don't the parents just test the boundaries themselves? Does the Dad wear pink dresses and braids around town? Does the mom make sure no one can tell what her gender is?

  8. I hope they're rich... cuz there is gonna be A LOT of therapy needed in the future! GAH... this stuff frosts my cookies (to put it nicely!)

  9. My husband found this on yahoo a few days ago and it made me sad and confused.

    Yes, I agree that we give everything in our culture a gender identification even when it's not necessary. I mean...why can girls only wear pink? Or why can't boys wear long hair? Why does everything have to be black and white (or in this case, pink or blue)?

    But at what point are you turning your child into a social experiment to see if your ideas about gender in society are correct? Isn't our job as parents to give our children direction, and make the best decisions for them when they are unable?

    Besides all that, how deplorable it is that they are encouraging their older children to engage in this scheme? What kind of message is it sending them?


  10. AnonymousMay 26, 2011

    the baby in red is most likely a boy, and mom probably wants a's so sad that these cute kids will be warped as adults...

  11. AnonymousMay 26, 2011

    the baby in red looks like a boy to me and mom probably wants a's too bad these cute and innocent children will grow into WARPED adults.

  12. I have seen this article in a few places. While I think we shouldn't make our kids choose activities based on gender I also think it is absurd to not acknowledge that males and females are different in many ways. I let my son play with his sister's barbies and dress up, but he also LOVES his legos and matchbox cars, digging in the mud and playing with his toolbench. Madeline loves to play dress up, the color purple and wearing dresses but she also likes to play in the mud and have races with matchbox cars. Why can't the parents just find a balance of letting their child be introduced to many activities and letting the child choose what they like?
    What I don't get is why some people need to be so extreme.

  13. That is so disturbing. Really, let's just take away the inborn dignity God gave them by taking away a huge part of who they were made to be.


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