Want to know a secret? Phil and I barely argue. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, since I think passion can take the form of heated arguments from time to time. So every once in a while, I make sure to start a fight just to keep those love flames burning.
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Last night, after a super hot and humid day, we returned home from track club at 8:15 with all the kids and I mentioned that now would finally be a good time for a run, since it was 78 degrees instead of the scorching 90's like it had been all day. Phil sweetly said "Go ahead, I'll put the kids to bed".
I started trying to retract my words "But it is still humid out and it's getting late..."
"Just go where there are street lights and do a quick 3 miler", he suggested.
Now I felt like I had to run because I had no excuse except my own laziness, and I had not yet exercised, and my husband was all but pushing me out the door. And so, I started to get angry at him. Does he think I need to run because I'm fat? Shouldn't he want me to stay home and hang out with him? My protective Dad and brothers would not want me running at 8:30 at night all alone, why didn't Phil care?
I got on my running gear and headed out into the quickly darkening night. I made sure to tell Phil that I was wearing my Garmin so they could track my body if I never made it back home and I stormed off.
I put on my music and ran nice and fast, fueled by my anger at Phil as much as my fear of the dark. At one point, a car pulled into a driveway right in front of me, and I thought "This is it. I'm about to get abducted." But then I realized they were just coming home with groceries. At mile 2, two teenage boys were walking ahead of me, so I switched to the other side of the street as to avoid heckling by hoodlums. And when I saw two men emerging from a car with a pizza, I just knew I would be on the morning news Angry wife murdered at her own request, just to stick it to her husband.
When I finally ran into our driveway, Phil was out on the porch calling my name and making sure I was okay. I huffed and puffed up the stairs and saw the Redbox movie that still.wasn't.returned and yelled something about how nothing ever gets done unless I do it. He quietly took the movie back to the store as I was left to sit in a pool of sweat and guilt.
I thought back on the day and realized everything Phil had done for our family. He was home with all the children while I worked, went to the doctor for the bug bite (he's on steroids and getting better), cleaned the house, made dinner, was supportive of my wishes to exercise, was worried about me but didn't want to try to stop me, and then he just let me take all my frustrations out on him.
As soon as he came home, I apologized for being a girl, and now I know why we don't argue too much. It stinks. We can celebrate our passion in other (more fun!) ways.
I think I start fights like this from time to time just so we have a fight once in awhile. Your husband sounds like a sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I really don't fight/argue either. I've had people tell me that's it not normal/healthy and we should fight more. (And I'll think, "Why?! It's not like we're not happy!")
ReplyDeleteSometimes I'm a girl, too, and I'll stew about something silly. But we don't have those knock-down, drag-out fights--and I'm so glad. I'm like the dinosaur in "Toy Story" ("I don't like confrontation!"), and I just couldn't handle it.
Your husband sounds like a great guy (and the way you describe him, he reminds me of someone I know).
My husband and I don't really too argue much either. I think different personalities just deal with conflict differently.
ReplyDeleteAnd, you are brave for running in the dark, I'm terrified of running in the dark...where we are now, it's too dangerous due to traffic (no sidewalks), but where we lived in Fl, the sidewalk would go past these bushes, next to a canal and even during the day it kinda freaked me out...I would never go if it was dark.
Ha, Rob and i never fight unless I start spoilin' for one. Except I am the Phil from your scenario. But instead of being nice like Phil, I go on and on about how I can never get anything done with everyone under foot and I never leave home without an entourage and I cook every single meal that people never eat and wash all the clothes and basically live a life of servitude while Rob gets to hang out with adults all day. He lets me whine all about it because he is the better person. And for the record, his job is really, really awful sometimes.
ReplyDelete"Angry wife murdered at her own request, just to stick it to her husband".....
ReplyDeleteHaha! This is SO me!!!
Great post, Colleen!
This is so sweet and funny! You two are great. :)
ReplyDeleteBut... please don't run alone at night. I narrowly escaped a predator while running at night. I was not brave to be out alone... I was foolish. It is a true miracle I escaped and very literally involved divine intervention. Before that incident, I used to argue with my future husband about running at night. I insisted I was capable of taking care of myself. I was wrong! So... I always nag other mamas about it now. :)
Haha, this is so me too. We don't fight too much either, so I always try to be the mature one and start a fight every now and then, just to keep things interesting:)
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome. Aaron and I make it a rule to fight every other day (always have...), if you'd like some of our 'passion', I'll shoot it your way ;)
ReplyDeleteYou guys are great, and we don't argue much either, but like you, when we do we usually analyze the problem and end up loving each other all the more and realizing how much each of us puts into this whiole relationship. And you told this with great humility.
ReplyDeleteKevin and I don't argue much, either. When we do it's usually because I, like you, made something up about which to stew about. Glad you worked it out. Aren't we lucky to have such patient hubbies?
ReplyDeleteI second MK's quote above.
The fights we do have are totally like this... usually I start them but Steven has his moments, too. I'm glad you shared. It makes me feel more normal ;).
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how we can get so worked up in our heads? I do this too....and my husband is just as happy as a clam; oblivious to my mind bender of an argument!
ReplyDeleteThis had me laughing, but mostly because this is SO US too!! I remember only 1 blow up fight in our whole (almost 12 years) marriage. It was stupid, really. And yes, other stuff is just petty on my part that makes me feel like an ungrateful loser of a wife. Because really, like you, I stop and think about all he did and what I made a big deal. All he was doing was being loyal, honoring, husband and father of the year and I was annoyed by something ridiculously silly. It makes me wonder how I ever ended up with such a super-awesome Godly man and how I ever deserved to be showered with such blessing.
ReplyDeleteHuh. Now you just made me fall in love with Reed all over again. :) Thanks for the post reminder.
I give him the silent treatment.. It works for about half a day... I Love that time... shhhh don't tell...
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this! You guys really are an awesome couple!
ReplyDelete