August is an emotional month for someone who really feels their feelings like, ahem, this blog's author.
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| Feelings be like |
Feeling guilty that we didn't do as many fun family outings as I had hoped. We had planned a trip down to Maryland this weekend but between the kids' work schedules, summer league sports schedules, Phil getting the new side job and trying to plan for religious ed to start in September, the cost of gas, etc. etc. we decided not to go. Time is running out and the countdown is on!
Feeling astonished that I haven't even been to the beach once this whole summer - what a tragedy.
Feeling sad that JP is heading to Austria from Aug 18th through December 2nd. He's flying out the day before Brendan's birthday and coming home the day after Maggie's birthday. He'll also miss the birthdays of Phil and Andrew and Eamon this fall. Don't get me wrong, I am so so so happy FOR HIM that he gets to have this experience, but I will miss him. He worked so much this summer that we only got a little time together to chat and you know, I really like that kid.
Feeling stressed that school is starting three weeks from yesterday. We still have to buy all of their school supplies and pull uniforms out to make sure everybody has clothes that fit. And shoes! With school starting, that means fall sports seasons start and we will have 4 soccer players on 4 different teams and 1 volleyball player. Always our busiest sports season. Add in a weekly piano lesson and violin lesson and the struggle is real.
Feeling nostalgic because my baby is turning six next week and will be starting first grade and where oh where did the crazy baby/toddler years go? I will also have three kids in high school and one starting middle school and I swear I am still 29 so that math just doesn't add up.
Feeling disbelief that I will have been at this job for one year on August 23rd. The first year is always such a learning curve and I've grown so much. Only nine more years until I'm vested in the pension plan, can I make it?
All the feelings are not negative, of course!
Most days I feel so happy to wake up and go for a walk down by the water in a beautiful town with my husband who always puts his wife and children first. I feel excited that a new school year is about to start, like a clean slate for my kids to try their best and make new friends and have memorable experiences at their wonderful Catholic schools. I feel so lucky to come home to little ones who hug me and tell me they love me "from the bottom of their heart" and big ones who check in after work to chat and share funny stories and thank me for the leftover dinner I set aside for them. I feel blessed to have parents who live below us and make me laugh every time I visit. I feel undeserving of answered prayers. I feel hope that no matter what is happening in this world, God wins in the end.
And I feel loved, so so loved.
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| Heading to a wedding of a friend's daughter with my forever wedding date |
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| My lovies and my adopted lovies |
The last two months I have just been feeling all the feelings, and reading posts like this validates how I've been experiencing the summer. A mix of exhaustion and guilt, punctuated by some truly incredible experiences.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE how you refer to your husband as your "forever wedding date."
Also, yes, to the hope we have in Christ. I remember reading a quote by Billy Graham once that said: “I've read the last page of the Bible, it's all going to turn out all right.” Trying to remember all the ups and downs of life are temporary and we're just passing through with a secure future ahead.
After reading about your home project nightmare situations, I think you will feel so much better once that's over :)
DeleteThis is beautiful! You help me to remember those days with my own kids and if it is any encouragement at all, I find that it just keeps getting better! Different, yes- but better and more rich in many ways as I learn to appreciate things more. Faith and attitude make such a difference and you seem to have such a rich faith and a beautiful attitude! Prayers for a wonderful school year for all of you!
ReplyDeleteThat is a great encouragement :)
DeleteI'm surprised that you slow down long enough to feel all the feelings. Goodness.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. It's beautiful. You are such a gracious and devoted mother and wife. I love how you always look at the positive. You inspire me.
I think I am running on autopilot right now, trying to gather all of the stuff and find all of the stuff (Ed has one bin still unaccounted for and we can't find it. He stored it here before he left for Budapest. No clue). Trying to make sure all the tuition has been sent in and the sheets are bought and lists are made. Reg and Curly have started fall sports (golf and volleyball) at the high school and Reg can't drive. In under 2 weeks three of my kids will be away at college. I think I will be lost when that actually happens. But for now, I am going to get the girls and I to our hair cuts and figure out dinner, and think about that lost bin.
I appreciate your blog and your great example. Thank you. I hope you manage to enjoy all those moments with your crew before school and activities and college demands more of each of them.
Ernie - you are so supportive from afar! I'm very interested to see how you feel after dropping off all three to college!!
DeleteI am feeling all the feelings as well. The summer was too short. The kids were home but were both working or with friends so I feel like I barely saw them. Peter is back in Raleigh (and he is thrilled and I'm thrilled he is thrilled but sigh....) and we move Sarah in to her dorm next Thursday and sigh.... I continue to try to find the positives and be thankful. That always helps me to get out of my feelings. And yes, thankfully, God always wins!
ReplyDeleteEmpty nesting sounds both thrilling and terrifying! Can't wait to read about your experience with it :)
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ReplyDeleteSo many feelings! It's a mixed bag for sure.
Moms just get it.
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