Thursday, March 19, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday

Today I am thinking about babies. I don't know if it's the oncoming of Spring or the fact that Maggie is almost 16 months old which makes this the LONGEST I have ever been not pregnant since I got married.
Although Phil and I have many reasons that we probably shouldn't have another baby right now, lately I keep thinking of baby names (Lucy and Brendan are tops) and imagining what our 5th baby could look like.
As for the reasons why we should continue to use NFP as a means to space the next pregnancy:
1) We had four children in five years. I need a break, both physically and emotionally.
2) Phil is a Catholic school teacher, and therefore we are always struggling financially.
3) Because of our financial situation, it is necessary that I work part-time, and I don't really want to have a baby, and then have someone else raise it part-time.
4) I get really sick for the first 3 to 4 months, and it is so hard (as you mothers know) to work and be a good Mom while your head is in the toilet all day.
5) This one is shallow, but if we have another baby, we would need to buy a bigger van and possibly move to a bigger house to have another bedroom.
As for the reasons why I want a baby:
1) I REALLY want Maggie to have a sister. My sisters have been my best friends, and I would love for Maggie to have that bond.
2) I do not want to be selfish/stingy with our fertility. Babies are gifts from Heaven, and there are so many couples that struggle with infertility while we have been blessed with many children.
3) I know that God will provide...He always does. If I were to become pregnant (planned or not), I know that everything I worry about, and all the reasons I have listed above, would easily be taken care of.
Okay, so that's where I'm at. Phil and I discuss having a baby every month (ahhhhh the beauty of NFP!) and for now, we are going to continue to wait until there seems to be no serious reasons to wait anymore. Or until God surprises us with a little one. Whichever comes first :)


  1. Trust me, I know! Adam and I had this conversation a thousand times earlier in the year. And here we are about to welcome baby four!

    Keep praying, keep talking, and keep asking God to lead you! :) He always knows so much better than we do. The beauty of NFP is that we only have to "decide" whether we are ready to avoid or not to avoid for one month at a time. So try not to stress about it until you have a clear, peaceful answer... or until you have a big fat postitive. ;)~

    If you DO welcome another little one soon, you know I adore the name Lucy too! ;)

  2. Hi Colleen!
    Glad you found me! I added my "Follower" button now, so follow away! I'll also be following you too now! Nice to meet you! What a beautiful family you have. Blessings!

  3. Your conversations with your husband sound a lot like mine with my husband! I am thankful that he is the head of our family. We share most of your concerns, aside from working part-time, but my husband's primary concern is for my health, since I'm always battling fatigue and depression. But I'm praying for God to heal me AND to change my husband's heart. . . .before I get too old! LOL. I'll be 40 next year!

    God is perfect at being the Master Planner, so it's good that you and your husband are able to trust His leading.

  4. Colleen, I always appreciate your visits to my blog and your comments! I feel that I don't get here often enough and when I do, I will read and then am interrupted (imagine that with 4 kids) and forget to come back and leave my thoughts or greetings!

    This post really struck me! You could have been speaking for me! I go back and forth and back and forth constantly about wanting to have a fifth. That's the beauty of NFP; we have to make our decision only one month at a time. Although we are currently using NFP to avoid/postpone pregnancy, I ask God to bless us if he thinks that we are ready for another child. It brings peace, knowing that we are giving him the room to work within our marriage.

    I struggle remembering how hard it was with a new baby, especially a colicky one. I worry that having a newborn will take away from the time that we're currently able to spend with our children although I know that they would love to have another brother or sister and that "deprivation" would last only a short while and is well worth it. I worry that a fifth cesarean would be harder on me than the last four and that I couldn't properly care for my family for a few months while I recover.

    On the other hand, I have got baby fever soooooo bad. Like you, this is the longest that I've been not-pregnant since we were married. I do want more children and hope that God will bless us with them. I'm just not sure what the right timing is. I long to give another sibling to my children. I long for that new baby warmth and smell and feel.

    Honestly, I think it's the promise of a cesarean that's holding me back--seems like everyone has their little cross. You and Lerin are sick during pregnancy, I have a rough delivery. Almost every woman I know has that one little thing which makes child bearing difficult.

    Mostly, I'm grateful to be able to have children and to have healthy ones, at that! :)

    So I'm getting a little long here. Thanks for letting me pour my heart out! ;)

  5. We had our first 4 in 5 years too and it was hard work. When Brigette was 12 months old we decided to stop charting and leave it in God's hands. I truly believed I would be pregnant very quickly and that we would have another baby pretty soon.

    It was at Brigette's second birthday that we were announcing Tom's expected arrival. It was a bit of a shock to me that it took so long to get pregnant since we had conceived so easily before this. I really believe God knows the best thing for us now. Sometimes his timing seems off but it really is perfect.

  6. We all know that whatever happens happens....big family's are awesome.
    God will provide.
    But, I just wanted you to have this nugget of experience from me.
    (As a person not a mom.)
    I have several friends who have ONLY brothers and those women have a "cool" factor that is slightly unique.

    Can't quite put my finger on it, but it's true.


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