Monday, August 31, 2009

How to (Poop) Potty Train Your Toddler

1) Hang this chart in your bathroom:

2) Pray for patience when he ignores it for about a month.

3) Ask advice from friends and family about how to get your stubborn kid to go poop in the potty.
4) Remind him to go again and again, only to find him sneaking away and pooping in his underwear.
5) Throw away poop-filled-underwear.
6) Repeat steps 2-5 a couple more times.
7) Threaten to stick medicine in his bum (only threaten) until he sits on the potty and pushes.
8) Sit on the floor in front of him and encourage him with each push.
9) Clap and do a silly dance when the tiniest rabbit poop comes out.
10) Wait another 2 weeks until he decides to do it again.
11) Repeat steps 9-10.
12) Buy him a present and wait until the time is just right.
13) After 2 months, when he finally poops in the potty for the fifth time - give him a present (which has to look just like the present in the picture - meaning wrapped with a bow).
14) Watch him do the puzzle in three minutes flat.
15) Listen to him whine every time he poops after that because he doesn't get another present.
(But praise God that you can send him to preschool!!)


  1. My all time most dreaded part of parenting! God bless you in your efforts! I think I am currently entering the next most dreaded part of parenting-drivers ed! Those cars are just too close and how I wish I had control! :) It's a good opportunity to learn the art of surrendering!

  2. Oh, the joys of parenting. Bribery at it's finest.
    I used to give the girls and M&M each time they went potty. Of course, this was the only time they got candy, so it was a real treat.

    good luck

  3. Isn't motherhood wonderful!!!

    I'm thinking blog posts like this will need to be deleted after a while so it won't be there for all eternity, lol!

  4. oh patience.. patience... you did so wonderful though! and what a handsome fellow you have too!

  5. Yep, that checklist sounds about right ;) What a cutie pie, though!!!

    *And, sorry I'm going to write a novel here, but I don't have your email ;) Yes, I would LOVE more children and am so ready to throw out the birth control and follow NFP . . . BUT I cannot, for the life of me, get my husband on board. Any suggestions?

  6. Congratulations! We just started working with Sarah on the potty. I forgot what a 'process' it is, and that THEY are the ones completely in control. All we can do is encourage, frustrating as that may be. and Yeah for preschool :)

    Thanks for the comments about running - I never ran track, so I'm sort of flying blind here. Hope your knee is all healed up!

  7. Well done - *both* of you!

  8. Ahhhhh....pooping, patience and preschool! Life is good!

  9. Oh, that made me laugh out loud! I love it!

    How do you pronounce Eamon? Remember--we are trying to name Five.

  10. YAY for the big little man!!!!
    YAY for mommy and daddy who persevered!!!
    What an adorable tutorial...thanks!

  11. F-U-N-N-Y!! Love it! So true. It's amazing what I thought motherhood was all about prior to my children's arrival and then prior to potty/poopy training...I laugh now because I really HAD NO IDEA back then! ha.
    Hope things stay successful!


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