Tuesday, November 26, 2013

He Said, She Said

He Knows Me
While I was looking at my phone...
Phil: Whatcha doing?
Andrew: She's probably bloggin'.

Flawed Logic 
I pulled in the driveway at 5:00 and it was dark out, to find the boys playing in the backyard...
Me: What are you guys doing out here in the dark?
John-Paul: Well, we like being outside, and the kids at school say I'm a little pale, so I'm trying to be a little not pale.

Every Party Needs One
When we walked into that party with all the Portuguese family members...
Phil: (whispers to me) Well, I guess we're the token white family.

I Never Would Have Guessed ;)
 Me: Nice hat, Xander!
"I did it myself!"
Not Taking Any of My Crap
Maggie: Xander has a poop!
Me: Xander, do you have a poop?
Xander: Yes, but you can't say "Eeeww".

My Sensitive Soul
Me: Guys, who wants to go to Thanksgiving Parade with Gammy and Grandpa?
Kids: Me!  I do!  Oooh, me!
Andrew: Well, I do want to go, but I feel bad that you will have to miss us.

Who are "They" Anyway?
While eating lunch together at work...

Phil: This lettuce is pretty good (it was Boston lettuce, a new kind for us).
Me: Yeah, they say the greener it is, the healthier it is.
Phil: "They" being the Green Veggie Growers of America.

He Knows His Sister
Phil and I hugging...
Eamon: If Maggie was here, she would say "I want to get in the middle of that."

Not the Family Secret Keeper
After showing Andrew this picture of Xander:
Andrew: Why do you always take pictures from the toilet?

A Short and Amusing Story, Otherwise Known As...
While watching Hostages:
Me: I think they are trying to poison him and then find the anecdote.
Phil: The what?
Me: You know, the anecdote, the thing that will fight off the poison.
Phil: I don't think that means what you think it means.

Phil Begins to Gray
Xander comes in crying...
Xander: Maggie kissed me!
Phil: Maggie, stop kissing your brother if he doesn't like it.
Maggie: I can't help it!  I tell my brain not to do it, but I can't stop my body!
Phil: Well you'd better get this under control before your teenage years.

Hot Mama
After catching a horrifying glimpse of myself on the way to bed last night...

Me: Phil, Did you ever imagine you would get so lucky?

Eamon Scissorhands
Magician: Eamon, cut the rope.
Eamon: I don't have any scissors.
Magician: Use your magical finger scissors.
(Eamon cuts rope with his fingers)
Magician: Now be careful when you go to the bathroom.

(linking up with Rosie!)


  1. These all had me laughing but my favorite was the kissing story :)

  2. Thanks for starting my day with lots of laughs. These were great.

  3. OHHHH my gosh the toilet picture. That cracks me up.

  4. I smiled through this whole thing!

  5. That last one made me laugh out loud!

  6. Oh man, Eamon quoting Maggie is the best! And Maggie's uncontrollable kissing... But that last one, oh dear! Hopefully you didn't have to explain that to anyone :P

  7. Haha! These are all awesome!

  8. I think the flawed logic on is my favorite.

    And, the short and amusing story one...because Ben is always saying that to me.

  9. Too funny! Maggie's kissing quote was my favorite. :)

  10. I love the gray hair story, that Maggie, she's wonderful.

    And, Xander is talking soooo good!!

    Oh, and I want your salad! (not the peaches and cottage cheese though)
    What kind of dressing do you use I'm wondering...

    Happy Thanksgiving!!


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