Tuesday, November 26, 2013

He Said, She Said

He Knows Me
While I was looking at my phone...
Phil: Whatcha doing?
Andrew: She's probably bloggin'.

Flawed Logic 
I pulled in the driveway at 5:00 and it was dark out, to find the boys playing in the backyard...
Me: What are you guys doing out here in the dark?
John-Paul: Well, we like being outside, and the kids at school say I'm a little pale, so I'm trying to be a little not pale.

Every Party Needs One
When we walked into that party with all the Portuguese family members...
Phil: (whispers to me) Well, I guess we're the token white family.

I Never Would Have Guessed ;)
 Me: Nice hat, Xander!
"I did it myself!"
Not Taking Any of My Crap
Maggie: Xander has a poop!
Me: Xander, do you have a poop?
Xander: Yes, but you can't say "Eeeww".

My Sensitive Soul
Me: Guys, who wants to go to Thanksgiving Parade with Gammy and Grandpa?
Kids: Me!  I do!  Oooh, me!
Andrew: Well, I do want to go, but I feel bad that you will have to miss us.

Who are "They" Anyway?
While eating lunch together at work...

Phil: This lettuce is pretty good (it was Boston lettuce, a new kind for us).
Me: Yeah, they say the greener it is, the healthier it is.
Phil: "They" being the Green Veggie Growers of America.

He Knows His Sister
Phil and I hugging...
Eamon: If Maggie was here, she would say "I want to get in the middle of that."

Not the Family Secret Keeper
After showing Andrew this picture of Xander:
Andrew: Why do you always take pictures from the toilet?

A Short and Amusing Story, Otherwise Known As...
While watching Hostages:
Me: I think they are trying to poison him and then find the anecdote.
Phil: The what?
Me: You know, the anecdote, the thing that will fight off the poison.
Phil: I don't think that means what you think it means.

Phil Begins to Gray
Xander comes in crying...
Xander: Maggie kissed me!
Phil: Maggie, stop kissing your brother if he doesn't like it.
Maggie: I can't help it!  I tell my brain not to do it, but I can't stop my body!
Phil: Well you'd better get this under control before your teenage years.

Hot Mama
After catching a horrifying glimpse of myself on the way to bed last night...

Me: Phil, Did you ever imagine you would get so lucky?

Eamon Scissorhands
Magician: Eamon, cut the rope.
Eamon: I don't have any scissors.
Magician: Use your magical finger scissors.
(Eamon cuts rope with his fingers)
Magician: Now be careful when you go to the bathroom.

(linking up with Rosie!)

11 comments:

  1. These all had me laughing but my favorite was the kissing story :)

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  2. Thanks for starting my day with lots of laughs. These were great.

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  3. OHHHH my gosh the toilet picture. That cracks me up.

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  4. I smiled through this whole thing!

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  5. That last one made me laugh out loud!

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  6. Oh man, Eamon quoting Maggie is the best! And Maggie's uncontrollable kissing... But that last one, oh dear! Hopefully you didn't have to explain that to anyone :P

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  7. Haha! These are all awesome!

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  8. I think the flawed logic on is my favorite.

    And, the short and amusing story one...because Ben is always saying that to me.

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  9. Too funny! Maggie's kissing quote was my favorite. :)

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  10. I love the gray hair story, that Maggie, she's wonderful.

    And, Xander is talking soooo good!!

    Oh, and I want your salad! (not the peaches and cottage cheese though)
    What kind of dressing do you use I'm wondering...

    Happy Thanksgiving!!

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