Genetic Counseling is Not for Wimps

This morning I had my appointment for the NT Scan and Genetic Counseling and Cell-Free DNA blood test.  On paper (or by my LMC date) I am 11 weeks 4 days today.  Let me tell you how it all went down...

I get to the appointment a few minutes early, fill out paperwork, and wait for half an hour even though I am supposedly the first appointment of the day.  Many pregnant women file into the waiting room to sit with me, and all I can smell is stale cigarette smoke.  I know my pregnancy nose is sensitive, but um, eeew, and gross, and you're pregnant so maybe you shouldn't be smoking and/or around people who smoke so close to you that you smell like that.  Finally I get called in and the ultrasound tech squeezes a bunch of warm jelly on my belly (I love it when it's warm and not freezing and starts the scan.  I see my baby!  I see a fluttery heartbeat, and the baby is moving it's little legs and arms all around - so active already!  I may be seven babies in, but seeing a baby inside of you never ever loses it's wonder. 

"You're baby looks so teeny!" she says as she pushes and slides the wand all over my too-big-too-soon belly (gotta lay off the chips!).  

"So what does that mean?" I ask.

"Well, in order to perform the scan, your baby needs to be measuring 36 mm and right now, it's only measuring 34 mm.  These measurements are telling me that you are only 10 weeks, 2 days pregnant."

Me, internally, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Me, externally, "Oh ok, so I need to reschedule?"

Tech: "Yes, in about a week, we should be able to see better.  But you can still go talk to the Genetic Counselor today and she'll go over all your options with you."

After mopping up the (excessive!) amounts of goo from my belly, she walks me over to another waiting room until the GC comes to greet me.  

If you've never had Genetic Counseling, it's pretty sobering.  Although the woman was really nice, she was very straight-forward and stated all the facts in a scientific way, without feeling.  I realize she does this all the live long day, but it's hard to hear things like the following without getting emotional...

"Because you will be 37 at the time of delivery, your baby has a 1/165 chance of having Downs Syndrome and a 1/80 chance for Trisomy 18 (I believe, I can't quite remember the disorder associated with that statistic)."

She continued - "The cell free DNA test will give you (rattles off high percentages) accuracy of predicting your baby will have Downs Syndrome, Trisomy 13, Trisomy 18, Trisomy 21, or any abnormal sex chromosomes.  Do you understand this test and what the results will mean?"  

Mmm-hmmm, I nod my head.  She continues "If you get a positive result for any of these abnormalities, you will then have the option to get the amniocentesis to confirm the results. " 

Me: "I won't be getting an amnio."

GC: "Ok, that's fine, but if you want to STOP THE PREGNANCY, you will be required to get one, as this blood test is only a screening, and not an accurate diagnosis.  When this test first came out, many women were STOPPING THEIR PREGNANCIES because they thought the results were an actual diagnosis."

Me, fighting back tears, and trying to decide how to get her to stop referring to the killing of my baby as "stopping the pregnancy" but ultimately being too emotional to say much: "I will never decide to do that", I manage to squeak out.

She then went on to ask me questions about my ethnicity, Phil's ethnicity, any babies born in our families with disorders, and then asks me if I have any other children.

"Yes, this is my seventh" I reply as I rub my belly.  

"Really?  You don't look like you have that many children!  You look so calm!"

I guess I should try to look more frazzled, I think, but say "Well, they teach me patience!"

She draws a timeline with 6 lines pointing down, and says "So start with the oldest and tell me about them."

"Tell you what?  Their names?  Their ages?  Their birth dates?"

"No", she smiles, "tell me boy or girl."

Oh, well that was vague.  "Boy, Boy, Boy, Girl (she lets out a big sigh of relief on that one), Boy, and Boy."

That ended our conversation and she walked me out to the receptionist to reschedule the NT scan and blood test until I'm actually 11 weeks pregnant.  But, she reassured me, "You won't have to meet with me again, you'll just come in for the ultrasound and lab work."  Phew, I thought, my pregnancy hormones couldn't handle this appointment again.

But the upside to:

1) Hearing about those scary statistics.

2) Feeling as if a baby's life worth is determined by their physical abilities.

3)  Being told I have to redo weeks ten and eleven of this pregnancy.

Is that I got to see this wee babe:

A person's a person, no matter how small, and this baby human being (not human doing) will certainly be loved and cherished by us all.