Tuesday, May 8, 2018

The Final Question: Are You Prepared to Accept Children Lovingly From God?

Her in a beautiful white gown.
Him in a handsome tux.
Their friends and family watching with hearts full of joy.

A priest begins to speak...

"Have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?"  
"I have", answer both sweethearts, gazing into each other's eyes.
"Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?"                        
"I am", they answer again in unison, unable to control their affection for one another.

"Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"
Silence.  With panicked looks in their eyes, they both whisper "I am" knowing that's the last question they have to answer before they can get married already.  Let's just focus on our marriage, they think, we will worry about starting a family later.

Errrrrrr, wrong answer!  Marriage is ordered to family, but fear not, young couple!  It's not as scary as you think.  Let's break it down...

Are You 

You.  Plural.  Now that you're married, together you're one and these decisions need to be made as such.


This is a reminder that married couples must always be ready to become parents.  

It doesn't meant you have to try and conceive a baby on your wedding night.  

It doesn't mean you have to set up the crib when you return from the honeymoon, it doesn't even mean you have to be financially able to buy the crib.  

It also doesn't mean that you're guaranteed a baby...ever. 

It just means that we need to be ready for a baby to come if we do the one married act that makes babies.  We say yes to each other fully, and sometimes that little yes needs a name in 9 months.  Simple.

To Accept 

Here's where we realize that children are a gift, a blessing.  We don't EXPECT them, we ACCEPT them.  This tells the married couple that they must always be open to the possibility of new life during their whole marriage.  It does not mean that everyone has to have a huge family or a small family.  What it means is that we need to let go of our plans, and let Him plan our family for us.  We need to work with the cycle of fertility He gave us and remember that we are called to always be open to life even during the times when adding a new family member might seem impossible.  If we are willing to talk the talk, we have to be able to walk the walk.


Not puppies, not kittens.  I don't know about you, but I've never birthed a puppy.  You can love your pets, but they're not your children and they are not the result of married love.  Whether or not you can actually physically have children is not the issue here, it's being open to potential children, through birth or adoption.


Sometimes babies are surprise (ask me how I know!) and sometimes they can seem overwhelming, but we always receive them with love.   We will all go through plenty of feelings - scared, confused, upset, bitter, elated - when we find out a new child is coming and that's ok!  We will most definitely adore that baby when he/she is born.  It's a love like no other.  

From God

God designed the human bodies in such a way that when a man and a woman have sex during a fertile time of the woman's cycle, without any type of barrier between them or suppressing their fertility, and everything is in working order, a baby can be conceived.  God didn't have to create humans this way.  He could have just created us as He did Adam and Eve (poof, there you are!), but he allowed us to be part of His creation plan.  He lovingly blesses us with children when we lovingly give ourselves freely to our spouse.  Life should always come from Him in the natural ordered way.  It's hard not to get what we want when we want it, but only He knows what we truly need for eternal happiness.

And that's it in a nutshell!  First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the possibility of babies in baby carriages :)  

Change can be scary, but becoming parents is seriously the greatest gift ever.  We like it so much that we can't stop!  Ha!  I want to hug every soon-to-be-married couple and let them in on the secret that children are such a blessing to a marriage and family is the root of much happiness in this lifetime.  

Don't be scared of it and don't think there's only one size fits all for families. I would never, ever think that having a big family is the way it's supposed to be for everyone.  I would also never think that having a couple kids is the way it's supposed to be either.  Some of us may have to suffer from infertility.  Some of us may struggle with super fertility.  We just don't know the future.  Let  God into your marriage and discern with your spouse what He's calling you to receive...and that my dears, will make you happy!!


  1. Thanks for a nice reflection on a key aspect of marriage. It has made all the difference in the world in our marriage for my husband and I to respond generously to God's generosity.

  2. Great post, Colleen! There’s definitely lots of grace given to couples who follow God’s design.


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