(Asking for a friend, obviously.)
Scenario One:
Husband and Wife watch tv together in bed each evening. Wife wants to turn the tv off and fall asleep around 9:30 but husband wants to keep watching tv for awhile.
Should wife just try to fall asleep with tv on, which is difficult for her? Or should husband leave their comfy bed and watch tv in the family room, which may result in sleeping on the couch?
Scenario Two:
College boys report Honda Odyssey is being weird. They bring it to a mechanic who tells them it's unsafe to drive anymore and it needs a whole new engine. They now need a replacement.
Should parents buy a used car, though they were not financially ready, to have available for the boys at spring break, so that they have one for the rest of the semester? Or should college kids have to go without a car for the rest of the semester, and parents postpone buying one until the summer?
Scenario Three:
Husband and Wife work three jobs each in order to provide for all of the expenses of a family of nine with three in college this fall. Husband and wife now make enough income to barely cover said expenses, but also "too much income" when it comes to some of the benefits they used to get when they earned less. Financial aid packages are stingier, some scholarships are now non-eligible, tax deductions/credits are going away, and discounts we received in past for certain services are not available to us anymore.
Should we keep killing ourselves with work to provide to our best ability, even though it means we lose money in benefits? Or should we figure out the income necessary to qualify for all of the benefits we used to receive, and earn only that much?
(Yes, my friend is aware that these are first world problems.)
Scenario one: If it is the sound from the TV that bothers the wife, consider getting good headphones/earbuds that connect to the TV for the husband so he can watch with the lights off. If it's the light that bothers the wife, then maybe a good sleep mask if the wife can tolerate wearing such. Otherwise the husband may have to man up and realize that sleep trumps TV watching, and maybe record his show or watch another time, or save it for the weekends.
ReplyDeleteScenario two: Since I didn't have a car throughout my college years, I would choose not buying a car UNLESS the college kids need it for work/volunteer opportunities.
Scenario three: If the work is indeed "killing" then the latter option, earning only what you need to get the benefits, might be better for work/life balance.
I agree completely with this as well!
DeleteOh my goodness, are you me? I have lived each of these!
ReplyDelete1) If I'm really tired, option 1, provided he doesn't keep asking me who that actor is or laughing really loud.
( Bluetooth headphones/ear buds a must!). Otherwise, option 3- I got out to couch and fall asleep with a cat or two.
2) Option 2. They don't need a car really, though visiting brother in med school is a nice perk. They can stay on campus or get a ride from someone else. My one daughter's car had the steering fail- we went and rented a u-haul to tow it home, and my husband eventually fixed it. Another daughter would pay for repairs herself when she had a different car on her internship- but it got pricey. Current college daughter wants nothing to do with a car on campus. She just walks everywhere or gets a ride with friends.
3) Option 2. Make less. I only work part time because I don't want to earn too much. The one term I had a full course load, my daughter lost part of her scholarship to the magnet high school which had gotten her a loaner computer every term. I had to call and beg for the loaner- my income was only temporarily raised and I just had my tenth kid. It worked. But this is why I never put my name on any raffle tickets I buy for our school fundraiser. I can't have extra income or it would push us up over a limit. And now I have fewer kids at home, so the hit to need-based scholarships is real. My daughter went from paying 2.5K a term to 5k a term since her sister graduated from college. We also never submit out tax return until after FAFSA has been filled out. The colleges don't need that money! Also, our retirement comes our pre-tax so that our incone/assets look lower ( because they are) and most colleges don't go after retirement accounts.
Hang in there!- mbmom11