The Struggle of a Nosy Oversharer

I want to write about every detail in my life.  Ever since I was a little girl, I loved writing in a diary, keeping a memory book, or making photo albums.  I love to record memories.  

I'm a sharer...an oversharer, most likely.  

I need to write or talk in order to process.  Sometimes I wish I could just be a thinker and stay in my own head, but the written/spoken word is a necessity to help me move on from anything.

And I need to know everything from you, as well.  

In real life, if you told me you went on a date, had a baby, just came back from vacation, saw an old frenemy...I would say "Tell me EVERYTHING!"  My husband likes to imitate this line of mine with a dramatic hand flair for effect.  I like to ask a lot of questions and get a lot of answers.  Some may consider that nosy.  I tend to think I'm just an empathetic soul.

I want my kids to share all of their thoughts, feelings, hardships and joys with me.  I am lucky so far that they seem to communicate well with me.  Maybe because I ask so many questions?  Maybe because they know they can't get away with just a "fine" answer.

And then when they do share with me...I want to talk about it.  I want to write about what's going on in their lives, what we're all learning as they grow up.  I want to understand them better by collecting my thoughts on paper.

But the older they get, the less right I have to share their tales.  I don't want to embarrass them on a deep level.  I don't want them to not trust me.  I don't want them to think they are just fuel for my fodder.

So I keep it inside, ponder it in my heart and head, and talk to my husband only.

Because of this, you'll mostly hear cute and funny stories about my little guys and approved highlight reels about my oldest ones.  I want to write more!  I want to read about it more!  I want the wisdom from moms who have dealt with teenager issues.  

I've just realized that I can't find that here.  Those relationships happen face to face, not over social media, in comments, on blog posts.  

My relationship cup that used to fill up with every story shared, or photo liked...now needs a more intentional growing of friendships.  The introvert in me who was happy to stay at home and communicate via screens, now longs for deeper relationships that require me to leave the house.  

I'm trying to figure all of this out, while realizing that the blogs I used to follow for mothering advice, got increasingly quiet as the kids aged up.  I get it now.  I do.  As much as I would love to hear from them on raising teens and young adults, those stories aren't necessarily theirs to share anymore.  

But gosh, I'd love to go grab a cup of coffee with one of them and chit chat for hours.  Maybe I am just nosy after all.

Hopefully one day, after these babies of mine are grown and having babies of their own, they will welcome my stories and enjoy reminiscing with me.  I don't want to chance ruining that future relationship by oversharing in the present.  I love them too much.