You know how when you serve your family a meal and they are all quiet, you wonder if it's because it's so good or so bad? Well when my blog gets quiet, you know it's because life is neither good nor bad. Just insanely busy. To be completely honest, this school year is kicking my derriere a little. With three in high school, and all playing a fall sport on different teams, and only one can drive, it's so much coordinating rides. Then I feel guilty if I ask one to stay half an hour later to catch a ride with the other, but it doesn't make sense to pack up the littles and spend 30 minutes driving to pick up someone (plus the cost of gas) when they can just sit tight for 30 minutes and get a ride home with their big brother. I know, I know these things teach kids patience and that the world doesn't revolve around them which are important lessons...and yet I still feel guilty that we can't provide for them in the way smaller families can.
At the kids elementary school this year, they will be performing a play, and my 3rd grader was overheard telling teachers that he couldn't be in the play because "it cost too much". The play costs $100 to be part of but that's not why we said he couldn't do it. He can't do it because we literally can't pick up the other elementary kids from school (no buses) then pick up teens from sports then go back for the kid in play practice then back for the other teens. Plus, the play practices twice a week and on one of those days he has his violin lesson, and on the other day he has his soccer practice. So it's just a NO.CAN.DO for him this year, and I wasn't even feeling badly about that until I heard what he told people at school. I think our kids just assume we don't do things because of finances, since we do use that reason a lot (Disneyworld is too expensive for all of us, we do family birthday parties at home because renting a place for a friend party costs too much, we buy this cereal because it costs less than name brand cereal, etc.) Again, great lessons for kids to learn in the long run, but it breaks my heart to hear it come out of their mouths. I also don't want them to resent having a large family. I don't think any of them do, and I know I sure didn't resent growing up in a big family myself, but I don't want the number of children we have to prevent those same children from getting to do what they want. All moms must worry about this stuff, right? Tell me I'm not alone.
Wow, okay Colleen, you were just going to come here and post a few photos from the week and call it done, and now you've become *un*done in the process.
Sorry, Colleen, but writing is cathartic. I guess I had some things to release, and you know what? I feel better! Back to regularly scheduled programming...
JP is in GREECE for his 10 day break while studying in Austria this semester. He is spending the first half of the week in Athens, and the second half in Santorini and sent a couple photos and texts to his obsessive loving mother.
Honestly though, my thoughts are so often with JP and worrying about him from afar. I didn't think about him nearly as much when he was on campus at Franciscan.
Monday funny:
If only!
There's my Alexander Blaise and his jazz hands spotted in a school picture they used on their social media platforms...there's one in every family ;)
Maggie (right) and her cousin (left) are on the volleyball teams at the same high school and their school played another high school that's an hour away in a game where their other cousin (middle) competed against them. It's a small Sweeney sister world.
It is so exciting to watch volleyball games, way better than soccer, sorry not sorry.
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| Maggie in the Middle (at net) |
Declan (age 8) scored FIVE goals in his game on Saturday.
Before you congratulate him, please know that Declan should be playing in the level above but for logistical reasons we placed Brendan (age 6) and Declan on the same team this year. Same team = only one practice and one game each week.
So whenever someone congratulates Declan on how great he is playing, Brendan is quick to mention that it's because Declan is in 3rd grade but playing against 1st and 2nd graders. Oh for the brotherly love!
Good thing they're all cute :)
Colleen, don't beat yourself up about what you aren't able to provide your kids. It seems to me that your kids aren't lacking for experiences or activities or even toys.(Plus your kids seem to be extrememly appreciate of everything that receive and everything they have. I only have two kids and have spent a lot of time feeling regretful that I wasn't able to have more kids so that my kids would have siblings and a large family. Now I'm hoping for grand kids and perhaps a large extended family some day. I like to think that God know what each kid needs and then provides exactly that. And just look at JP! He's definitely living the dream right now - waaaaaaaaayyyyyy better than Disney World - but this is coming from someone who has never been to Disney and hopes never to have to go! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Beth, there are definitely pros and cons to both big families and small families. I need to focus more on the pros and do my best and forget the rest! I hope you have loads of grandbabies one day :)
DeleteI'm laughing at Xander and his jazz hands. I love that he infuses his personality wherever he goes.
ReplyDeleteThe play. The leaving kids to wait for a ride. Don't feel guilty. Waiting is part of life, and you cannot do everything/be everywhere. I wouldn't let Lad to boy scouts when he was little because he took the bus home and I wasn't going to wake a baby up from a nap to go get him from boy scouts. I still feel guilty about that.
Tank told the caddy master at the golf course that we were Amish, and that's why he didn't have a cell phone like the other caddies when he was 12. Um, no. We didn't find it necessary. We had a must-be-in-high-school rule.
I combined kids on teams when possible, or begged for them to be on a team with a friend so we could carpool.
Three cousins at the same volleyball tournament is so fun. Coach and I started going to Ed's volleyball games after he opted to switch from water polo to volleyball and we found volleyball incredibly boring and lengthy. We kept looking at each other shaking our heads. We missed water polo so much. ;)
Amish! That's so funny! I've never seen a water polo game, so I can't compare, but after 16 years of soccer seasons, trust me, volleyball is fast paced :)
DeleteI feel you with the money comments. Money has been super super tight the past few months with my guy on short term disability (bringing home just less then half his weekly pay). My son is 6 and now says everything is Too Expensive or we just don't have that right now whenever someone mentions buying or doing anything. I feel so bad that at 6 he has any idea about our finances.
ReplyDeleteIt's heartbreaking and we try to shield them from adult problems, vut at some point on some level they do need to understand there's not enough funds/time/drivers whatever the case may be. My parents used to always say that we were rich in love, and I truly believed and felt that as a kid. That's a good way to say "we may not have enough money for that right now, but we have plenty of love and we have each other!"
DeleteMy kids are forever saying "We can't do that because it's too expensive." And okay, sometimes it's true. But often we have to interject and explain that it goes against our family culture, our we're just busy! Which is also a reason they don't get to do things. Your kids are blessed and waiting is such a good life skill. So it realizing at this age the world doesn't revolve around you. (This is a real problem today!) You're doing a good job!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Madeline, society will say that parents can't give enough (time/attention/material things) to each child when they have so many children and I always try to fight against that belief and look at all the great things big families can offer...but every once in awhile I'm like "are they right?" I think moms will always have something to feel guilty about and worry about when it comes to our most loved cherubs.
DeleteSpeaking as a mom of ten but an only child myself, I struggle a lot with feeling like I'm not giving my kids enough time and money/experiences but I remind myself of all the attention they get from their siblings and how they have their own awesome "world" where they constantly play together and share inside jokes and support each other....things I wish I had had, especially now that I'm an adult. And even parents of smaller families can't give all of the time and money they probably wish they could because they have to work too many hours or just don't make enough, etc. It's like you said, we all feel guilty about something and just need to keep handing our worries over to the Holy Family (easier said than done, I know).
DeleteMom guilt is a real thing. No matter how many kids you have.
ReplyDeleteI want to be JP when I grow up! Greece? Austria? SIGN ME UP.
Laughing at Declan and Brendan. Yes, thank goodness they're all so cute and I had a great giggle at the Jazz Hands!